#he’s also eating that brain like it’s a bucket of chicken

[number1yisuchongfan]

You should draw that cat coded twink covered in blood

As a treat

For me 🥺

Scout loves his gray matter after a successful bang

[thechocolatearmor]

OK OK OK OK OK people talk about sniper, or pyro, or medic being autistic right?

B u t

What if I told you all of them are?

Every single one.

Engineer? He's autistic. Soldier? Autistic. Frickin Spy?? Omgsh he's so autistic

So because my brain won't stop itching about this I'm going to write up a collection of all the evidence I have for why the TF2 mercenaries possess within their beings the big tism. By the time this is over y'all are going to be very sick of the word autism.

But IDC

So without further ado, let's go through each of these silly mercs one at a time:

Scout:

Alright, first up we got Scout. Scout I would consider to be AuDHD for multiple reasons

The ADHD is more obvious but like dude trust me he's autistic too

He's hyperactive, forgetful, gets distracted easily, kind of the basic stereotypical ADHD stuff you would notice immediately. He stims, he fidgets, he struggles in social situations, he's seen as over the top and a bit annoying, he talks a lot

Now a lot of these traits are things that are common for both autistics and adhders. But I wanna point out some things I notice about him that are autism specific

He has a special interest: It's Tom Jones. Honestly he probably has a special interest about baseball too

But I mean c'mon he's literally has a Tom Jones tattoo

You could argue this is just a hyperfixation but I bet it's been going on for a while

He also has "spikey" skills. Really good at stuff like drawing, dancing, sports, but he sucks at things like reading, math, etc

Mostly what makes me see him as autistic it's how he struggles in social situations. Bro doesn't know how to flirt unless he's got a bucket of chicken on hand

Soldier:

Honestly if anyone's autistic coded it's soldier

Special interest is all things American, especially if it relates to the military

Lots of autistic people wear certain items that remind them of something they like, usually disregarding things like how it looks or even whether or not it's comfortable. Soldier's helmet is way too big for him but he's almost always wearing it anyway

In meet the spy he does "hut hut hut" when he's doing down the stairs and it makes me so happy

He has no filter, he takes things really literally, he often sees suggestions as orders (teleporting bread anyone?)

Also when he says he's been doing nothing but teleport bread for 3 days it makes me think he must've been hyperfocused on that

I don't think he knows anything about volume control since he's yelling everything

What kind of neurotypical fights bears in Siberia while naked and covered in honey

He speaks his mind rather than beating around the bush

His helmet could also double as helping him avoid eye contact

Pyro:

Tell me they don't have aversion to like every texture besides their suit you can't

A lot of their animations are super stimmy

Pretty much nonspeaking

Has childish interests

Could also have schizophrenia? (I'm relatively uninformed about it tho so I might not be a good person to judge)

I bet half of their little mmph mmmph noises are audio stims

Special interest is fire

their stim is ARSON

Demo:

I headcanon him as AuDHD too

I mean tbf a lot of how he is is more related to alcoholism but shhh let me have this

But I mean he made friends with Soldier

Special interest in medieval weapons which would explain why he's crazy about swords?

Drinking could be an unhealthy coping mechanism/safe food

Probably also depressed with how he can never live up to his family's expectations

Infodumping about bombs in his introduction video

Honestly most of my "evidence" for him is just fanon but idc I like autistic Demoman

Heavy:

Whether or not him having a PhD in Russian literature is canon, some of his in game lines show him to be very poetic and thoughtful

The fact that he only has a few food items but always seems super happy to be eating them gives me safe food vibes

He sings and hums a lot, probably as a stim

He has the Resting Autism Face™

Special interest in his gun

A lot of his voice lines also just feel really stimmy to me, especially when he's doing the "YATATATATATA" thing

Not sure he has any volume control either

Seems to genuinely enjoy Medic's morbid stories, at least to a point

He really really really really really likes the song of the Volga boatmen in particular

He's the prettiest princess it's canon, you can't be a pretty princess without being autistic /j

He has a tiny bed for Sasha. HE HAS A TINY BED FOR SASHA

Heavy is often criticized as a class because guess gameplay is relatively simple and can become a little stale for a lot of people. Yet Heavy seems to have some of the most excited voice lines in the game. I feel like this emphasizes how much he thrives in routine, since he seemingly never gets bored of just doing his thing

Engie:

He has 11 phds

A lot of his voice lines also sound really stimmy to me. Either he's going YEEHAWW GIDDY UP or he's yelling DAMNIT DAGNABIT DANGIT DAGGIT NABBIT

Probably a lot of echolalia with that too

He humanizes his buildings and cares for them like a mother bird

Just listen to his genuinely heartbroken when his sentry gets taken down!

When playing Engie sometimes I find myself smacking stuff with my wrench even though I KNOW it's already level 3 and maxed and whatnot, or I KNOW I'm out of metal, just because I wanna hear the clang noise. So this point is just me projecting but I love the mental image of Engie giving his things a few extra whacks too

He sawed off his arm for his special interest

His whole monologue in meet the engineer is so autistic sounding to me

His dancing taunt also feels stimmy

He's always hunched over, implying irregular posture

He's a NERD—

Man of many talents including playing the guitar

Never takes those goggles off

How does he turn a stressful TF2 match into a (not so) relaxing tower defense game?

Medic:

I headcanon him as AuDHD too because he seems really scatterbrained and it feels like he's working on several things at once and always

He talks a LOT. definitely an infodumper

Either he's super stern or really giggly, there is no in between

He wears gloves in battle but not while doing surgery??? Does he just like organ textures??? Wacko

Special interest is obviously whatever the heck kinda of mad science he does

Here's a heavy medic headcanon I have: medic likes deep pressure hugs

Another special interest could be his birds

He's very spontaneous which makes me think AuDHD even more

Look how excited he gets when taking about the tumors in expiration date!

He got the organ stealing autism

Is it just me or does he fixate on baboon organs in particular???

Sniper:

I'm pretty sure all of you know why this man is autistic but I'm going to list some reasons here anyway

My main evidence tho are his Halloween voice lines: https://youtu.be/2WDljNAslys?si=JP25VOGGDWwwoCI7

Exhibit a, look how much he enjoys having an owl head

Exhibit b, lots of those voice lines make him sound really freakin' overstimulated

He probably wears the hat and shades for sensory reasons as well as because they look cool

Obviously the most socially reclusive of the mercs

I love his backstory where he learns he never felt like the other kids because he wasn't actually Australian, but what if he also didn't fit in with the other kids because he's autistic?

Also throwing rocks at people as a kid screams autism to me

No neurotypical would ever throw jars of his own piss at you either

I think he just wants to live in the woods somewhere and never come back to society and honestly that's based

I feel like he would be the type to bite his own arm when stressed (just like me fr 😭)

Extremely meticulous in following his own life rules (ie being professional and having standards, driving safely with the turn signal and everything)

Spy:

Ok just hear me out for this one

Smoking because stim reasons

He's literally and figuratively masking

He's very suave and probably really good with social things, but I feel like it looks like he's just practiced really hard, again MASKING

Who knows he might not even actually be French

Who collects photographic evidence for a ur mom joke

I see him as either being hypersensitive or hyper insensitive to pain depending on the day (his screams + "I do believe I'm on fire.")

Mad butterfly knife tricks as a stim? (Notice he couldn't help but fiddle with them even disguised as scout in meet the spy)

He sucks at dealing with relationships and that's one of the reasons he's a bad dad

He actually really cares about his team and you can see it especially in expiration date but he's not very good at expressing it

Do you think he wears the ski mask for sensory reasons too?

Probably has his suits tailored to not give him any sensory issues, which could be another reason he likes them so much

Believe me I could go on but I think this is enough to get my point across

THEY ARE ALL AUTISTIC >:00

[tightjeansjavi]

𝕓𝕝𝕦𝕖 𝕛𝕖𝕒𝕟𝕤 𝕟’𝕋𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕤 𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕤

𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟟

First Date Jitters & Cowboy Margaritas

♡ 𓃗 ♡

Pre! Outbreak Joel x horseback riding instructor f!reader

~word count: 4.5k~

Summary: Joel Miller, single father; total soft dad has an astronomically enormous crush on you, his daughters horseback riding instructor.

Warnings: soft! Joel, shy! Joel, horny!awkward!Joel, fluff, flirting, slow burn, feeling flustered, sexual tension, brief horny thoughts, bantering, teasing, no use of (y/n), (+18) minors dni !

blue jeans playlist:

Austin, Texas

Joel Miller called you every morning the following week leading up to your anticipated first date. You both were giddy with nervous excitement. He wanted this date to be perfect in every sense. Sure, he could take the typical route and wine and dine you but where was the fun in that? It was clear that neither of you were the conventional type and that was one of the many reasons why he was attracted to you. Despite your hectic schedule between taking care of the horses, teaching lessons, and bartending in between, Joel wanted to make sure that you had an enjoyable evening with him. By Thursday, he was a flustered mess. He had his doubts that maybe you would call and cancel on him. Maybe it was too soon for you, or on the off chance, he would end up being so nervous that he would end up chickening out on you entirely.

“You’re um–you’re still excited for Friday, right darlin’?” He held his phone against his ear, tapping his fingers across the steering wheel. He had just pulled into the parking lot of the jobsite he and Tommy would be working at for the next few days.

“Joel, I literally have not been able to stop thinking about our upcoming date all damn week. You know I almost ate shit yesterday cause I was too busy thinking about you? You’re gonna have to start paying rent if you wanna live in my mind like that mister.” You held your phone against your chin and shoulder as you were filling up Whiskey’s water bucket, leaning against his stall door while he happily ate his morning grain.

Joel felt the heat rise to his cheeks when you admitted that you had been thinking about him, and the date, just as much as he had been. “Well, I'm really sorry that my devilishly handsome mug almost caused you to eat shit darlin.’ I just..i’m nervous if i’m bein’ honest, and I know that ain’t what you want to be hearin’ from a man right now. Y’know I just have been off my game for so long and I just don’t wanna screw this up.”

You reached over and gave whiskey a light pat on his neck, threading your fingers through his silky soft cream colored mane. “Easy there now cowboy, I said you were handsome, not devilishly handsome.” You giggled. “Joel, its okay that you’re nervous. In fact, if you weren’t a little bit nervous i’d actually be pretty concerned. You’re doing just fine, okay? I appreciate your honesty. Not many men would be admitting to their first date jitters. You’re cute, Joel and I highly doubt there’s any way for you to screw this up.”

Joel softly chuckled as he rested his head back against his worn headrest in his truck. “I know darlin’ I was just teasin’ ya. Thank you for validatin’ my feelings. You’re a real peach, you know that? Also, I 100% will be thinking about you all damn day now just ‘cus you said i’m handsome AND cute. You see what you’re doin’ to me darlin’? Turnin’ my fuckin’ brain to actual mush.”

“Peach is actually my middle name, believe it or not. Good! Your brain should be turning to mush because you’re living in mine rent fucking free man.” You giggled.

“Wait, is it really? Darlin’..are you messin’ with me right now?”

“Oh, I absolutely am. I gotcha there huh?”

“I was believin’ you for a good second there hun. Listen, you know i’d love nothin’ more than to chat with ya all mornin’ but I gotta run unfortunately. Tommy and I got this big project to start on. I hope you have a wonderful day and say hi to the boys for me, okay?”

“No worries. I gotta get some shit done around here before my 9 o'clock lesson gets here. I hope you have a wonderful day as well Joel. I’ll tell the boys you say hello.”

“Talk to ya later darlin.’”

“See ya around, cowboy.”

Joel ended the call as he let out a soft, content sigh. He grabbed his tool box from the passenger seat as he hopped out of his truck. He tucked his phone into his tool belt around his waist before he clapped his younger brother on the shoulder.

“Wow. You’re early for once Joel.” Tommy said with a grin as he tightened the laces on his boots. “So, you all ready for your big date tomorrow? You’re not gonna be an ass and chicken out on this girl, right?”

Joel was tightening his tool belt around his waist so it fit more snuggly. “Oh, I'm excited alright. Nervous as all hell at the same time. I really don’t wanna mess this up. I uh–I actually just got off the phone with her. We talk every mornin’ and it's become apart of both of our routines.”

Tommy let out a playful gag as he straightened his back after tightening his boots. “Oh Christ. You really have just completely gone and turned into a fuckin’ sap. Never actually thought I'd live to see this day.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah. You just wait till you get to meet her. You’ll see exactly what I'm talkin’ about then. Can you still come over tomorrow and watch Sarah?”

“Ohhh. So, you’re already thinkin’ about bringing her around? You’re down so bad big brother. Course I can watch Sarah. Love that kiddo man. Besides, she fills me in on all the important stuff.” He winked.

“Well..uh–I hope that I will eventually be bringin’ her around. You and Sarah are like two peas in a pod I swear.”

“I cannot fuckin’ wait to meet the bird that has taken my poor big brother’s heart! Sarah’s my favorite niece. What can I say?”

“She’s your only niece Tommy.” Joel corrected him.

“Shuddup. You knew what I meant.”

Thursday had flown by for both you and Joel and Friday evening had rolled around faster than either of you had expected. It was 5pm and Joel was puttering around his house, making sure he had everything ready. Joel was taking you to a local drive-in movie and he had gone as far to set up his truck bed with pillows and blankets. He wanted you to be comfortable. That was 100% his main concern was your comfort above all. He had even gone and picked up a bunch of snacks and placed them all in a cooler with a couple beers and water.

Just as he was placing the cooler in the bed of his truck, Tommy had pulled in the front of the house and hopped out of his own truck. He had the board game tucked under his armpit for him and Sarah to play. “What in god’s green fuckin’ earth have ya gone and done to your truck Joel?”

“Huh? What’re you–Oh. The pillows and shit? Well, I'm takin’ her to the local drive-in. Do you think it's too much?I just wanna make sure she’s comfortable..”

“Oh my god, of course you’re takin’ her to the drive-in! You sly sly dog.” He chuckled. “Joel, I'm sure she’s gonna love it, and especially since you’ve put a ton of effort into this whole thing.”

“Hey! It ain’t like that Tommy. I was gonna take her to that one taco place in town..pick some food up and then we’re gonna go to the drive-in.”

“Brother, I'm just messin’ with ya! Relax. You are gonna kiss her at the end of the night right? She’s probably gonna expect you to.”

Joel rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He most definitely had not thought that far ahead yet. Was Tommy right? Were you going to expect him to kiss you by the end of the date? Was that something that you’d even want? “Oh..well I honestly haven’t thought that far ahead. Shouldn’t I be takin’ it slow?”

“My word of advice to ya is just to just see what signs she’s givin’ ya. I ain’t sayin’ y’all have to kiss or anythin’, but just to keep that in the back of your mind is all i’m sayin.’”

Joel let out a huff as he hopped down from the bed of his truck and closed the latch over the top as he dusted his pants off. “Okay, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy brought his arm around his shoulder, giving his brother a side hug. “Good man. Now, what’re you wearin’?”

“Fuck if I know.”

“Sarah and I will help ya find somethin.’”

After turning the horses out for the evening, you locked the barn up before heading to your apartment to quickly get ready. Your first date jitters were coming in full force as you quickly showered. You just wanted to know where your Texas tall glass of water was taking you for the evening. The possibilities with Joel were clearly endless. You had not felt this excited about a guy since the situation with your ex.

By 6pm, you were scrambling to finish getting ready. Your room, and bathroom were a complete disaster as you struggled putting an outfit together. You didn’t want to look sloppy and you also didn’t want to look like you were trying too hard. Ugh. Why was being a girl so difficult sometimes? Was Joel facing the same struggles as you were right now?

At 6:15 you finally decided on going with some simple light washed jeans, a cute top and a flannel, in case it got chilly. You paired it with a nicer pair of sneakers that didn’t have scuff marks all over them. Overall, you felt pretty confident in your outfit choice. You were torn between doing a full makeup look in the beginning but with the time crunch, you only had time to swipe a bit of mascara over your lashes and lip gloss on your lips.

Your phone rang loudly from the kitchen where it was charging. You raced to grab it, flipping it open as you brought it up to your ear.

“Hey darlin.’ I’m about to head on over. Are you ready or do ya need more time? There’s no rush or anythin–”

“Hey Joel. Yeah, I'm ready. See you soon?” You lightly chewed on the tip of your thumbnail. The butterflies were absolutely swarming in your stomach.

“Perfect. See ya soon darlin.’”

The call ended and you spent the next 10 minutes furiously looking over your appearance in the mirror. You checked to make sure you had nothing stuck between your teeth and even gave your armpits the sniff test just to make sure. As soon as you heard a knock on the front door of your apartment, the butterflies erupted again as you grabbed your purse and slung it over your shoulder. With a deep breath you unlatched the lock and opened it.

On the other side of your apartment door was your Texas tall glass of water. He had a bundle of fresh wildflowers grasped between his hands. You could tell he had picked them himself just by the fact that there was some brown twine holding them together. You both stared at each other for a long moment as you seemingly were taken in one another’s appearance.

“Wow.” He breathed out, letting his shoulders relax. “You look beautiful.”

“You clean up pretty well yourself cowboy.” You said with a small grin. Joel must have been in a nervous rush just like you because his T-shirt was very clearly on backwards. “Uh, Joel? I think your shirt is on backwards.”

Joel’s cheeks immediately felt hot as the realization dawned upon him. “Aw shit. Y’know I would have thought that my brother would have told me this before I left the house.” He grumbled quietly. “Oh! These are for you..I uh– picked them earlier while I was on the job-site. They kinda just..reminded me of you..I hope you like them.” He handed you the homemade bouquet of wildflowers and much to your surprise, he wasted no time to pull his t-shirt over his head. As soon as you caught a glimpse of his broad, tan chest, you inhaled a shaky breath. The exposure of skin was quickly covered with the shirt on the right way now.

“They’re beautiful. Thank you for thinking of me Joel. That was awfully sweet of you. Let me just put them in a vase real quick and then we can be on our way?”

“I would have gone to the store and gotten you roses or somethin’ but that didn’t seem like your style.” He leaned against the doorjamb as you headed into your cute little cozy kitchen. He watched as you grabbed a vase from a cabinet and filled it up with a bit of water before placing the bouquet inside. You joined him outside the door, locking it behind you before his hand was at your lower back, leading you down the stairs to his truck.

Chivalry was alive and well thanks to Joel Miller. He held the passenger side door open for you, and even gave you a little boost into the seat. Once you were buckled in, and he was situated in the driver's seat, he had placed his hand on the back of your seat as he leaned over the center console and checked over his shoulder as he backed out of the parking spot.

Why was that alone so fucking hot? He smelled amazing too. He was wearing an intoxicating delicious cologne and you would absolutely love to just bury your face into his neck–

“Did ya hear me darlin’?”

“What? No..I’m sorry I didn’t. I zoned out there for a second.”

“S’alright hun. I asked if you were a fan of tacos? There’s this place not far from here that has some good ones. Also, the best takeaway margaritas that Austin Texas has to offer.”

“You had me at tacos and margaritas.” You looked over at him from the passenger seat.

“Awesome. I had a feelin’ you’d be into it but just wanted to make sure, y’know?” He cleared his throat slightly as he had one hand on the steering wheel and the other was resting along the center console. “I meant what I said earlier. You look beautiful.”

“Oh, yeah. I love tacos. Literally my favorite food of all time.” You glanced down at his hand briefly as it rested along the center console. Before your brain could stop you, you boldly grabbed his hand and interlaced your fingers together. His palm beneath yours was warm, slightly clammy from the nerves, and you could tell he used his hands a lot just from the texture of calluses on his skin. These were the hands of a true, rugged man. Woof.

Joel felt his breath hitch in his throat the second his fingers were wrapped around yours. Man, you were ballsy tonight. “Well, you’re in for a real treat tonight darlin.’” He gave your hand a soft squeeze, glancing over at you momentarily. He quite liked the way your hand felt around his.

The casual small talk floated between the two of you in the confines of his truck. The radio was softly playing in the background as you told Joel about your day, and how Dieter tried to escape from his stall yet again. Joel was attentively listening to you as he kept his eyes focused on the road. He laughed as you told the story of Dieter, the mischievous Norwegian Fjord, almost escaped again. He truthfully could listen to you talk for hours. You were so animated with your words and it was so hard for him to not be drawn in. As cheesy as it sounds, he felt like he was a moth to flame when it came to you.

You were holding hands the entire drive to the taco place. It was a drive through luckily and he went ahead and placed an order for steak tacos for himself, and veggie for you. Along with chips and guac and two cowboy margaritas. He only slipped his hand out of your grip to pay, and grabbed the bag of food and the two styrofoam cups that contained the margaritas. Once everything was situated, he was reaching for your hand once more.

“What the hell is Cowboy Margarita?” You asked as you took a small sip from the straw.

Joel looked over at you with mocked disappointment written across his face. “Oh my dear, only the best fuckin’ margarita you can get your pretty lil hands on.”

“Oh wow. This is fucking delicious! Holy shit. Where have these been all my life?”

Where have you been all my life? He thought to himself.

“Told ya. Best margarita Austin Texas has to offer.”

You took another sip as you made yourself comfortable in the passenger seat. “So, where are you actually taking me cowboy?”

“Well, darlin.’ That would go and ruin the surprise and I ain’t about to do that.”

“Damn. You can’t even give me a little hint?”

“Afraid not hun.”

“Bastard.” you muttered under your breath with a light giggle.

Joel let out a chuckle as he drove a few miles down the road. It was a beautiful evening. There was a cool breeze that drifted in through the open windows of Joel’s truck. The breeze kissed your cheeks tenderly. He had pulled off into a field, where there were about 30 other cars parked in front of a projector screen. Joel felt his heart flutter out of his chest when you looked at him with the biggest grin. “No fucking way. You brought me to a drive-in? I’ve always wanted to go to one!”

He parked a few spots down from another truck with the bed of his truck facing the screen before he cut the ignition. “Course I did. I had a feeling that you’d really enjoy somethin’ like this. That ain’t even the best part. C’mon.” He hopped out of the driver's seat and you followed after him.

To your surprise, Joel had decked out the entire bed of his truck with pillows and blankets. You could tell he thoroughly thought this entire thing through and paid attention to all the little details. “You are unbelievable, you know that?”

“I know. I just wanted to make sure you were nice and comfy s’all.” He grabbed the two margaritas, and the bag of food and set it alongside the bed of the truck before he came alongside you, gently grabbing your waist as he hoisted you up.

His warm touch along your skin was enough to have your head spinning as you watched him effortlessly pull himself into the bed of the truck. “Take a picture darlin.’ it’ll last longer.” He shot you a wink as he grabbed the bag of food and handed you your drink before he scooted himself back against the pillows and patted the spot next to him.

You wasted no time scooting yourself over to him as he handed you your wrapped tacos with a few napkins. “What movie is on tonight?”

“The Parent Trap. You’ve seen it before?”

“Only about a hundred times. Easily one of the best Disney movies out there.”

“It’s one of Sarah’s favorites as well. I was hopin’ they were gonna show a horse film or somethin’ but this was the next best option.”

Once the movie started, you and Joel were comfortably eating your food. Your shoulders were brushing against one another along with your knees. You both were aware of the close proximity and yet, the butterflies had stilled in your stomach. The nerves had dissipated finally. Joel was a complete gentleman as he gathered up your trash and placed it in the bag and off to the side.

“Would it be alright if I–”

“Yes.” You didn’t even let him finish asking the question. You knew exactly what it was that he was about to ask.

“Damn, woman. Don’t go and gettin’ too excited now darlin.’ I’m just puttin’ my arm around ya is all.” He chuckled.

“Shh. This is one of my favorite parts.” You whispered.

Joel fought the urge to playfully roll his eyes at your remark before he brought his arm around you, gently pulling you into his chest while he stretched his legs out. What he wasn’t expecting you to do was ever so casually hike your thigh up over his waist as you made yourself comfortable. “Is this okay?” You whispered.

“Yeah. I’m good darlin.’ You comfy?”

“Absolutely cowboy.”

No funny business took place during the entirety of the film. Joel could hardly focus on the screen because of the searing heat he felt from your warm thigh stretched out over him. You were entirely clouding his senses. You were an absolute doll on helping him clean up and throw out the trash from your food.

The drive back to your apartment was filled with “Long Long Time” by Linda Ronstadt. The windows were down all the way and you and Joel were belting the lyrics together. He couldn’t sing to save his life but did he care? Absolutely not. He was just more than happy to be involved. This was by far the most fun he had ever had on a date. No, he wasn’t just saying that to sweeten you up. He meant it. He felt like he was a teenager all over again. (not that 34 is old in the slightest). You were just the breath of fresh air that he couldn’t get enough of.

He walked you up to your apartment door of course. The poor man couldn’t pick up on your signals as you leaned back against your closed door facing him. You wanted this man to kiss you so fucking bad and he had no clue. “I had a really great time tonight Joel. I don’t know why you were so nervous in the first place, cause you seriously knocked this one out of the park and I mean that sincerely.”

Do I kiss her? Tommy said I should keep that in mind but what if–

“I’m beyond happy to hear that darlin.’ This was the most fun I've ever had on a date. I’m serious about that too. I really had a great time with you. Is it safe to say that a second date is in our future?”

“Second, Third, Fourth. Indefinitely. You know how to treat a lady right, that’s for damn sure.” You were looking up at him expectantly. You were waiting for the moment that he would lean down and finally kiss you. Oh please, just fucking grab my waist and kiss me. Please. Please. Please. I have been wanting to kiss you all goddamn night Joel.

Joel was a complete deer in headlights. It was as if his mind had completely frozen over and he forgot how to function. “I’ll uh–see you soon darlin’?” He leaned down and finally—kissed you on the cheek.

Motherfucker.

Joel was already turning on his heel and down the metal steps when you had called out to him.

“Hey, cowboy? Will you fucking kiss me already?”

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

Joel had never moved so fast in his life. He nearly gave himself whiplash with how fast he had turned on his heel. His footsteps were moving faster than his brain process as he returned to you. Before you could get another word in, he grasped your face in his warm palms and finally kissed you. You could tell he was hesitant, and a little rusty, but you happily were there to guide him along as you let your arms drape around his neck. You finally got to feel just how soft this man’s hair was as you threaded your fingers through the back of his head. The tendrils of curls were silky soft. You felt your back press firmly against your apartment door as his lips moved against yours. His hands had dropped from your face and found purchase around your waist. “Is this–is this okay?” He mumbled into your lips.

“Yes, Joel. You’re fine. I promise.” You gripped his hair a little tighter as he breathed hot air into your mouth. You could taste a hint of tequila on his tongue as you breathed in his cologne. As soon as his tongue swiped across your lower lip, your lips parted open for him as he explored your mouth. His kisses grew desperate as the familiar feelings flooded back to him. Joel’s kisses tasted warm, sweet, and they were absolutely addicting. He melted on your tongue like fucking putty.

You let your free hand drop down to the door, you were already moving to push it open when he had stopped you. Your wrist was pinned up against the side of the door. Encaged in his warm grip. “No. Not tonight darlin.’” He rasped. “I want to. You’ve got no fuckin’ clue how badly I want to but you’re worth more than that. I wanna properly date you. I don’t want it to just be a one time thing. You deserve so much fuckin’ better than that.” His lips had detached from yours as his forehead gently rested against yours. His breathing was staggered and his heart was racing out of his chest, clamoring against his ribcage.

Your lips were swollen with his kisses as your lashes slowly fluttered open. The only visible light was from the shitty one above your apartment door. Your breath hitched in your throat when his freehand, that wasn’t engaging your wrist, came up to your face. His thumb brushed across your plush lower lip, tugging it down slightly. “Joel..”

“I know, sweet girl. I know. I promise that it will happen. I’ll take care of you. Every fuckin’ inch of you, okay? I’ll fuckin’ worship you darlin.’”

“Joel.” You whispered through the thick tension between the two of you. “Please kiss me.”

The gap was closed once more. This kiss was less desperate than the last. This was a sweeter kiss. A kiss enveloped in promise that was etched upon your lips. A promise that you meant more to him than just a quick fuck. A promise that he didn’t want this to be a one time thing. Joel wanted to date you. He wanted to properly date you so fucking bad.

A few more tender kisses were shared before he reluctantly pulled away. He hugged you to his chest firmly, lifting you off your feet momentarily as you brought your arms around his broad shoulders. “I’ll call you when I get home, okay? Get some sleep sugar.”

“You too Joel.” You felt his arms slowly loosen around you as he set you back down onto the ground. His lips brushed against your forehead in a soft kiss before you could no longer feel his warmth and when your eyes opened, he was already heading down the stairs.

You let out a deep sigh as you pushed open the door of your apartment and locked it behind you. You broke out into little lovesick giggles as you sank down against the closed door. You replayed the entire date out in your mind. Your Texas tall glass of water was something else entirely.

As soon as Joel arrived at home, he called you. You were waiting for him of course. Despite the fact that your eyes were struggling to stay open, you both wished each other sweet dreams once more.

tag list: @chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @soft-cryptids @dinsdjrn @bearsbeetsbeskar @beskarandblasters @lovers-liability @777-wonders @mirasantidotes @pedgeitopascal @atinylittlepain @dreamingofdaddydin @cutesyscreenname @loquaciousferret @korynnekorynne @kirsteng42 @bonglorddaryl @novemberrain-writes @sarahhxx03 @myrealmofchaos @finnsbubblegum @danilakozlovsky @pedrit0-pascalit0 @ssa-raye @pedropascalfan221 @missgurrl @leeeesahhh @yazsos @sunakochansama43 @casa-boiardi @last-girl @frankthesexualsadist @shatteredbaby @rye-flower @elliewilliamsno1simp @wonder-harley

[fisheito]

i understand you perfectly!! i think maybe some people have less coordination to catch the bouncy ball brain that can happen when someone's excited and passionate abt smthn is maybe why others have said they have trouble understanding what you mean sometimes? but it made perfect sense to me and YHHEEESS!!!!! YES I WANT YAKUMO TO BE SEEN BY CHICKENS!!!!!!! i think about him as a wee one a lot bc there's SO much sand in the sandbox to make little sandyakus out of. like are forest animals less likely to be wary of him because more yokai (as far as we've seen) are in the forests? COW YOKAI WHEN?? (just olivines halloween costume and i just finished polishing my milk bucket)

thinking of a very scared little snakey boy crying hysterically over a duck flapping at him is so sad but also. too funny im so sorry yakumo. grandma and grandpa have their work cut out for them to not only raise a semi feral child but whatever yard birds they have keep trying to fight and there's only so much you can do while holding a long and terrified child on your hip who may or may not understand the common language at this point!! child yakumo is FASCINATING and i want to know so much more about what they had to deal with, like the only humanity he's ever known was 1) cave murals for him to base his DIY human form and 2) fuckers both small and adult size terrorizing him in the cave

personally! i like the idea that even after operation cave adoption yakumo was pretty immediately in fawn mode and probably had a very deep understanding of behavior that gets smiles and soft touches vs behavior that gets loud and angry (like most full ass human children do) but like? what if he had a biting streak like a lot of other full ass human children do? is it just instinct? does he have fangs?????? (i say yes but im a monsterlover first human third) i also think it would be funny and also sweet if the chickens are PISSED at a snake coming into their yard and their hutch but wait! snake has corn? corn? corn? corn? this snake can stay. i think little yakumo should get to hug a chicken!!! they're very friendly and like people and many of them like to be pet and snuggled it's his right as a country boy to show up at his grandparents and have many excited birds running to see him. ladies LOVE this guy

also grampa harvesting(?? is that the word. collecting. idk) eggs and yakumo helping for the first time and he's like "look :) this is an egg for us to eat. it's how the chickens say thank you for giving them a house :)" and baby yaks just. holds egg every carefully. eyes big with wonder. places a raw ass unwashed still has some straw on it egg into his mouth and swallows it whole. grampa watches his jaw pop in and out of place. grampa needs a smoke after this one. stories to tell eiden while looking at the baby pictures when yakumo is in the bathroom. he comes back to the main room and eidens like "aww yakumo why didn't you tell me you solved your grandparents mouse problem within the first month of you staying here 🥺 that's so sweet" "mmhmm mmhmm. he just slurped them up like spaghetti and i only fainted twice seeing the tail hanging out of his mouth" (yakumo is so embarrassed he levels the entire klein continent)

AND AND speaking of small animals and me having 0 memory of canon did bring it up i DESPERATELY want to know how topper felt the first time he had to meet yakumo. did he get super poofy and do the weasel war dance because predator with essence close to Quincy range? or did he just scamper into the kitchen one day and tug on the hem of yakumos pants like "excuse me papá said you would make me a sandwich" bc we know they can understand each other and that topper is a chill little guy, but just how smooth was the first interaction!!!

i also! feel like i am a bit incomprehensible here ahaha. i think a lot of it is the excitement, and my very scattered attention span and energy levels. we are playing intellectual racquetball. but you are very understandable to me and very funny and very kind! thank you for appreciating the creatureness of yaks and giving him lots of thought and love and chickens. and for allowing me to put this long ass ask in your box 🩷🐟

I AM ADDING TO UR LONG ASS ASK WITH MY LOMG ASREPLY wEEEEE

i didn;t think any of that was incomprehensible but then again who am i to act as a baseline for comprehension sfoijiseojclokls thank u for ur long ass ask every paragraph filled me with visions and made me engage in More THan Just Sensible Chuckle

(side note: i kno we all joke about olivine being cow but . kinda makes sense. they're curious and intelligent... they have complicated social structures and bffs... they are gentle but also tanks and will destroy u if that is their true desire. does olivine like being brushed? i'll have to wait to find out)

-i cannot believe it didn't click but grandma and granpa rly DID raise a feral baby. i always wonder how lil yaku ... ebven formed his human body? like, what informed his knowledge of human anatomy? behaviour? processes and??? uhhh i'll just pretend it was magical Great Serpent generational knowledge embedded in his DNA or smth bc aint no way yaku learning how to be People from the bullies, like u said 😥

DO SNAKES MOUTH ON THINGS? like, gnaw on things with their gummy litl mouths to figure out the world? i know they usually use their tongue to investigate but the image of a baby snake... who doesn't know that a certain food item is too big for them... so they keep trying to eat it from diff angles. but it's not working and tehy're not venomous so their only weapon is to squeeze something , which is not helpful in subduing the stationary giant food item but i guess this is the point where they try to figure out how to unhinge their jaw properly (technique is important!!) so. i guess they succeed in the end? How big is too big for an unhinged snake jaw?? child yakumo pouting because he can't eat an entire pampo in one bite? 😅

-desperately necessary visual: yakumo and eiden pulling up to the ol' farm in their carriage. they disembark. eiden spots the ladies (hens) running from the horizon. the chickens keep comin'. some are HAULING FEATHERY ASS. some are more casual trotters. eiden starts to recognise the speed demons in the flock (he will name them and narrate a race in his head every time they visit). yakumo is surprised they recognise him, even tho they do this EVERY TIME he visits. he promptly gives them snacks from his stash.

re: topper... i'd guess that since topper met yakumo post-eiden, he wouldn't register yaku as a threat. yaku has chilled out by that point, and always smells like tasty human food. WAS THERE A CANONICAL MOMENT ALREADY DISCLOSED WHERE TOPPER MET YAKUMO FOR THE FIRST TIME??? I DO NOT KNOW. topper just seems abnormally chill and friendly sooo I shall guess that topper would survey the vibes of yakumo and go "that seems like. a quiet fella. smells like meat. will he give me treats? paPA, does he provide treats???" quincy: idk go ask topper: NOICE (hops off to investigate yakumo's treat quotient) so drama-free. finally someone who speaks your language. both squeaks AND food 🥰

anyway your entire ask is just a compilation of things i need to see PLEASE FORTHE LOVE OF SNAKES the images are so vivid. so cute. i simply must (clenches fists) (clenches toes)

[adminbryantsaki]

Chapter Three: Admins

(This Au will follow the main events of the canon. In this AU, the tropes of fantasy and Omegaverse apply. The dynamics that can apply to people are Alpha, Luna, Beta, and Omega. The main ship is Erasermic x oc. I do not own the characters of My Hero Academia. Horikoshi Kōhei does. I also don’t own any of the fast-food franchises or any of the other references to other super hero movies or groups.  I own Bryant Saki. Here is her info Please do not steal.)

(These are the Headcanons. Please read these before the fic.) Prologue Chapter Two ~ Chapter Four

WC: 1,891

Tw: Omegaverse Shenanigans, polygamy, PTSD, Breeding kink, Breeding, trauma, fear, ED (eating disorder).

I woke up the next morning and looked at my phone. I had a text from Taishiro telling me that he had gone down to his office a couple of hours ago and that he was able to get the citizenship papers delivered to his agency and he left them on the dining table for me to look over when I woke up. I groggily got out of bed and wrapped a bathrobe around my body before I left my room and went to the dining table, pouring self a cup of coffee before I sat down at the dining table to look over the packet of papers. Before I looked at the packet, I looked back at my phone and pulled up Hizashi’s contact, knowing I’d need a place of employment to add to the application for citizenship. I texted him that I’d accept the offer and wondered when I would start. He responded that I got the job and I would start the next Monday which was a week away. I’d need to apply for a work visa in the meantime while waiting for the citizenship which was a giant headache and a half so I set that down and began filling out the paperwork for the citizenship until by brain got overloaded with too much information. I pushed the paperwork away when Taishiro walked through the door with steaming hot food in hand. I looked over at him with a grateful look on my face.

“I figured that you’d be exhausted today, I picked up some food from KFC thinking that it might bring you some comfort. Remind you of home.” He spoke. I nodded. “What did you get?” I asked. “A bucket of boneless chicken tenders with all the sides, some iced tea, and a boneless family bucket for leftovers.” He spoke and set all the food out on the table, putting the other bucket into the fridge for later. “This is wonderful, thank you.” I responded.  “You’re welcome.” He spoke and handed me a plate before sitting down and serving himself some of the chicken and sides. I served myself some of the food but not as much as Taishiro did. I ate only a small amount before turning back to the papers. “Hey, set them aside for now, we will pick them up again after we eat. Also, I picked up a work visa application so you can take the job that Mic offered you yesterday. But in the meantime, don’t worry about needing to provide stuff yet. The applications take time.” He spoke and kept eating. I nodded and relaxed.

My phone buzzed with an unknown number calling me. I picked it up and left my seat at the table to take the call. I went to the kitchen and answered the phone. “Hello, is this Bryant Saki?” A male voice asked. It wasn’t smooth and alluring like the voice of my previous mate so I relaxed a little bit but not entirely since the voice still seemed strict and business-like. “Yes, how do you know my name and who are you?” I asked.

“My name is Hunter Wilkens. How I know your name is because the moment you entered this universe, a file was made about you and I’m reading over it right now. But to the matter of this call, I’m calling to ask you if you’d like to join my Administrators of Care.” Hunter spoke. I was confused but shook it off. “What is an Administrator of Care? And why did you pick me?” I asked. “An Administrator or Admin of Care is someone that cares for a set of characters or even a single character within the world they have been brought into. According to my records you were just recently brought to this universe, yes?” He spoke.

“Yes, I was. But only yesterday. How do you know about me? You aren’t going to get me sent back to my previous universe, are you? I wouldn’t want to go back there at all. I barely escaped that universe with my life.” I told him. “Don’t worry, if we were to ever send someone that isn’t from this universe away, we would send them to the first universe that they appeared in. In this case, if we were to send you away from this universe, we would send you to the universe of the 2007 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This would be called your prime universe since it is the place of your origin.” He spoke. My eyes widened. I hadn’t thought of them in a long time. Then again, I haven’t been home in forever either… not since I left to go down a very dark path that I now regret.

“Yes. That’s right. But I want to make a life here. I can’t go home just yet.” I told him. “Don’t worry, we aren’t going to send you home unless you make some big mistakes. But you haven’t yet so that’s a good thing. Do you want to join my group?” He asked again. “Yes. But what do I have to do?” I asked. “I will send some more paperwork to you. Don’t worry about the citizenship or work visa applications. Once you sign these papers, it will be a fast track for you to be a proper citizen of Japan.” Hunter spoke and I thought for a moment.

“Alright, I’ll join your group.” I responded. “Very well. Expect the paperwork momentarily.” Hunter spoke before hanging up. I put my phone back into my coat pocket and walked back into the dining room and sat down, moving the other papers out of the way and stacking them nicely and setting them away from where I was sitting before, I took a bite of my mac and cheese. “What was the call about?” Taishiro asked.

“A person by the name of Hunter Wilkens and they invited me to be apart of a group called the Admins of Care.” I told him. “I’ve heard of them.

They are people that stick to a group of heroes or other people and help care for them like making sure their mental health is in check or that they are patched up if they get into a fight.” Taishiro told me.

“That is interesting. This guy, Hunter Wilkens offered me a job and I accepted. He’s going to send some paperwork for me to fill out that will put me on a fast track to become a citizen of Japan.” I spoke just as there was a knock on the door. I stood up and answered the door. There was a red-headed young man with glasses wearing a black suit with an ivory button-up shirt and a black tie. He was holding a futuristic-looking tablet in his hands as if he was about to give it to me. “Are you Bryant Saki?” He asked. “Yes, I am. Who are you?” “I am Andrew Walker, Miss. Admin Wilkens sent me here to give you this.” Andrew spoke and handed me the tablet. “This device will guide you through the application process to become apart of our Admin Agency. Once you are finished with the application process, you may keep the device as this is what will help you with your daily tasks once you have been approved as an Admin. You will be assigned to cover some of the staff or one of the student classes in the upcoming year at the prestigious high school U.A. You will be sent your suit and you will have the opportunity to design a hero costume if you so wish. I wish you well, and welcome to the Agency, Miss Bryant.” Andrew spoke before leaving.

I closed the door and carried the tablet to the table so I could look it over and begin the application process.

The form on the screen of the tablet was pretty simple, asking me my name, age, height and weight, where I was from, where I would be staying for the time being before the new school year started, and what my quirk was. After filling all of that information out, I was prompted to stand up and let the device scan me for measurements so clothing designers could make my Admin suit and hero costume. I followed the prompt and let the device scan me. Once that was done, the message “Your application is being processed, please wait a few hours for a response.” Came up on the screen and I set the device down to finish my food. After dinner, I decided to head to my room and get changed for bed. As I was changing, a heard a portal open. I turned and jumped a little as I saw a portal with a green border around it and a couple of boxes were pushed through the portal before it closed. I finished getting changed and opened the boxes to reveal a special suit that was similar to the one Andrew was wearing earlier and there was a note card resting right on top of the folded dress shirt. I picked up the note and read it.

‘This suit has been specially designed to fit you. the material of the suit will grow or shrink to accommodate your quirk and whatever changes you might experience during your time as an Admin. Welcome, miss Bryant’. The note said. I set the card aside and pulled the suit out of the box and laid it out to see the full outfit. It was four-piece suit consisting of a black blazer and pants, a light blue dress shirt, a black tie, and a pair of blacksunglasses. I set the suit out so I could wear the outfit tomorrow. I heard the notification sound go off from my tablet. I looked to see that I had received a message from Hunter saying that I needed to come into the Admin HQ to receive something called an ‘Admin Power’. This evidently was a special power that Admins received on top of their quirk to help assist in the care of the people they were assigned to. I also received another message that had a file attached. I opened the file and saw profiles for a list of characters I had been assigned to. They were the staff and teachers of a high school called U.A. I read through all of them and noticed that the person that went by the hero name of ‘All Might’ who was the newest member of the staff.

I then opened the second box and saw that my hero uniform was inside. The outfit was made up from a black t-shirt with a blue jacket that had a faux fur lined hood, a pair of full-length leggings and dark denim shorts that went over the leggings. I also picked a pair of faux fur lined hiking boots to wear as well, I added two water sacs on my costume as well to hold water when I want into battle. I also found a pen that when I clicked it, it unfolded into a beautiful green and teal scythe. I hung the outfit up to wear on my first day as an Admin at the school then I went to bed, excited for the next day to receive my Admin Power.

[magiirealism]

me needing to rest my hands while i take a work break vs here's some emil facts while i let him rotate in my brain like a rotisserie chicken until i can write him a bio:

Aemilius Selvaggio II, born as the Demon Prince of Treachery, after his father Aemilius Selvaggio I, and colloquially known as Emil both out of preference and to avoid confusion; the very fact that he was born a prince and his father remains in power is a rarity, as demons tend to fight to the death to usurp royalty and don't tend to last long on their throne.

Centuries old, but is the equivalent of a man in his early 20s. Has been fighting to defend his title as prince since he was a child.

The first of many children to his parents (I have not decided an exact figure), who are doing what they can to prepare for the eventuality of the heir to the throne being overthrown. Many of their children have already been killed (and so have the usurpers). So, too, have many demons tried to take on Emil, but they always come out second best.

Demons are able to create their own portals into and out of hell, using entrances, such as doors, in the human world to enter/exit. Emil has created an entire nightclub to act as his gateway, with the entrance itself being his manager's room behind a big STAFF ONLY sign.

Would much rather become Demon King of Lust than King of Treachery and plans on overthrowing the King of Lust (and, in doing so, the rest of the royal family), and thereby committing an act of treachery towards his father, who wishes for his Emil to take his position one day. In the future (of his story, not particularly something that will happen on this blog), it's extremely likely that he becomes the Demon King of Lust and Treachery, and would be the first demon to ever hold two titles at once.

Some non bio facts under the cut b/c this post is getting a bit long:

Main sustenance is souls, but Emil is also vampiric in that he can drink blood, too. He can also eat flesh, but it's surprisingly easy to have humans willingly agree to having their blood taken by a beautiful vampiric man.

In terms of personality, definitely has a sense of entitlement. Not like walking into a place and being like "do you even know who i am" but he does expect to be served quickly and to a high standard in places of service. This is definitely not something he's unlearning, but a part of him recognises that he's not big and important in the human realm.

Does not feel the cold, with the exception of, like, if someone splashes a bucket of icy water of him or something, he'd feel a shock for the briefest of moments before returning to normal. He wouldn't be shivering or chattering his teeth or anything.

Each of the nine circles of Hell has its own royalty, while Satan is the King of Hell itself (but few are foolish enough to try to overthrow him). Treachery, being the very deepest point of Hell before the centre, is home to the strongest demons. This is all to say that Emil is very powerful and should not be underestimated in terms of strength.

Emil is beautiful. Emil realises this. If you mess up his face there's probably gonna be consequences.

[okaywa]

*Kiss Me Sweetly

Tendou x f!reader 

Angst with a happy ending, excessive fluff, friends to lovers, smut, dry humping 

4.4k words

The demon of Shiratorizawa had crimson hair and eyes to match. He was tall, composed of long limbs and sharp angles. His eyes were perpetually half-lidded and droopy with dark bags. He had a crooked smile made up of pointed teeth and a silver tongue that frequently got him in trouble with the school staff and students alike. 

He wasn’t actually a demon, a nickname branded to him by cruel children in elementary school. He wasn’t a monster either, despite popular belief. Although he had learned to embraced his title as the Guess Monster, even learned to love the respect that came with it from his opponents. In the end, however, Tendou Satori was just tired. Tired of the people at this school, tired of the nicknames that stalked him though the halls, and tired of you.

You, who never stooped to your peers level with half-brained insults and nicknames. You, who had smiled and said hello every time you saw him since elementary. You, who encouraged him to pursue volleyball, the only thing he felt powerful doing. You, who sat through his seemingly endless chatter with an interested smile. You, you, you and your kind smiles, soft words, and gentle curves. 

It wasn’t until high school that you started sitting with him at lunch. Eventually lunch transitioned into getting coffee every Monday after school. Then the coffee hangouts progressed to going to your house and reading the latest manga he was interested in every Friday. 

Each moment with you was a breath held in anticipation for the other shoe to finally drop. When were you just going to get it all over with and stop acting like you cared about him? Enough of the pity, please. No more shared lunches. Stop giving him your notes when he fell asleep in class. He was exhausted for you. 

Sometimes he let himself believe you. That you actually cared for him and enjoyed being around him. He convinced himself that your laughter was genuine when he teased you and made sardonic jokes about the world. He could go months relishing in your friendship before remembering it wasn’t real. 

Being around him certainly didn’t benefit you. He had heard plenty of the rumors and he know you did as well. 

I heard that he’s so controlling she’s too scared to actually leave him. 

We aren’t even together, he thought viciously.

Well, I heard that she only puts up with him because she feels bad. Seriously, who actually wants to hang around that freak . 

He wanted to scream that he knew. He knew you pitied him. He wanted you to leave but you never got the goddamn hint. You stuck by his side all through high school and now it was the last day and you were still here. Sitting next to him, sharing his earbuds. You could’ve walked home ages ago, but you were adamant about waiting at the train station until he got picked up.

“You can stop now,” he said, setting you free. 

“Hm?” You looked up from your phone. “Oh, do you want to play your music?”

“No, you can leave,” he snapped. “No one is looking at you anymore; no one cares. You don’t have to be here with me.”

“Tendu-chan, I don’t understand,” your pretty lips were turned down in a frown. 

“I don’t need you,” he lied. “You don’t have to be here to make me feel better. It’s over, we move on now and we forget about it.” 

“What are you talking about?” Your voice was soft, confused. 

“I don’t need your pity,” he said, finally getting the words off his chest after all these years. “I know you only stuck around because you felt bad for me. But I don’t need it anymore, high school is over. I don’t need you to hang out with me because you feel bad.”

His eyes were closed, and he relished in the peace of finally, finally spitting it out. 

“Is that what you think?” 

His eyes snapped open. You were angry? You should be happy. Happy you finally have an excuse to get away. A clear exit.

“Fuck you, Tendou,” you stood up, throwing his headphones at his chest. “That’s what you really think of me? That I just pity you? You think I’m so shallow that I hung around you to make myself feel better? Is that what you think?”

You stopped, sucking in a steadying breath while he stared up at you in shock. Yes, that’s exactly what he had thought. 

“I-” 

“No,” you cut him off swiftly. “You’ve said enough. I’m leaving. You can talk to me when you get your head out of your ass.” 

Tendou watched you walk away until you disappeared around a corner. He had been wrong? But he almost always guessed right… right?

Had he really been so consumed by his self-loathing that he had misread the intentions of the one person who cared the most for him? 

“Oh,” he let his head fall back against the bench and stared at the bright sky until his eyes watered. 

Not many had witnessed it, but the demon of Shiratorizawa was indeed just a person. A person with emotions, as disguised as they may be. He hid behind this personality he’d crafted. The carefree, loud, perpetually cheerful demeanor that protected him from his peers and their wicked words. It had never protected him from you though. You saw through it as if it were glass, just a window to his misery. 

“Oh,” he said again, standing up slowly. “I see now.” 

He boarded the train and rested his forehead against the window, watching dark storm clouds creep over the city with the silence of a cat stalking its prey. 

How fitting, for it to rain, he thought as the first drops splattered against the window. 

—-

After three sharp knocks on your door, Tendou stepped back and held his peace offering close to his chest. He knew you were home because your rust bucket of a Toyota was parked in the driveway. His fingers tapped the plastic bag impatiently and it was nearly impossible to ignore the way his heart jumped when the door cracked open slowly.

“Ah, I see you’ve managed to pull your head free. Was it difficult?” You asked flatly, leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed.

“Immensely, took Wakatoshi three bottles of lube,” he said earnestly. 

You cracked a small smile, eyes flitting to the plastic bag in his arms. You raised an eyebrow as a silent question. 

“Can I come in?” He asked. “It’s awfully cold out here, you don’t want me to catch a cold now, eh Y/n-chan?”

“Maybe I do,” you said, stepping aside to let him in. 

“How cruel of you!” Tendou gasped, pressing a hand to his chest in feigned offense. 

He stepped into your entrance way and you were quickly reminded just how tall he was. His lankiness only made him look taller as he loomed over you, eyebrows drawn together in determination. You stared back, suddenly nervous in the presence of your friend.

“I’m sorry for misjudging you,” he said, intense red eyes still locked on yours. “It was wrong and unfair of me to make such harsh assumptions.” 

You weren’t used to him being this serious. He was always intense but the two combined were overwhelming. 

“Let’s sit down and eat whatever you’ve brought,” you said, stepping around him to walk to the kitchen. “Then we can talk, yeah?”

He followed so close he accidentally kicked your heels a few times and you could still feel the heat of his gaze on the back of your neck. He set the bag on the table and unpacked the to-go containers. 

“It’s from that place you really like,” he said. “By the school.”

“Oh, thank you, Tendou.” You accepted the chopsticks he held out. 

Tendou gasped dramatically. “Such formalities, Y/n-chan!”

“Tendu-chan, then,” you corrected yourself.

“Much better,” he said praisingly.

He sat down across from you, eating only a few pieces of chicken before setting his utensils aside. He didn’t say anything, even as you ate your fill. It was clear he was antsy, fingers tapping a staccato beat against the table. 

When you finally slid your plate to the side he scooted forward, resting his face in his palms expectantly. 

“I forgive you,” you said simply. 

Tendou’s signature manic grin took over his entire face and his long fingers tapped a rapid beat on the table in his excitement. Oh, how he had missed you during the two weeks he spent giving you space. He had never realized how much he enjoyed your presence until it abruptly disappeared. Tendou’d also had a few other revelations during the separation.

He said your name softly, so at odds with his typically loud demeanor. He was his most authentic self in your presence, he had come to realize. You looked up from packing up the remaining food and tilted your head. 

“We are still friends, right?” He asked with a tinge of nervousness. 

“Were we ever?” You countered, not angrily. 

“Yes,” Tendou answered quickly, reaching out to grab your hand. “Of course, it was my mistake to ever think otherwise.”

You looked down at his hand on yours and ran a finger over the wrappings he kept on his two fingers. He watched you keenly, fingers twitching at your delicate touch. 

“My, my,” he said with a sly grin. “What is little Y/n thinking about?”

You shot him a bland look, dropping his hand pointedly. “You’re disgusting.”

Just like that any tension between the two of you vanished with his boisterous laugh. He wiggled his wrapped fingers in your face enticingly until you smacked them away.

“I brought the latest chapter Shonen Jump,” he said animatedly, reaching into his bag. “I thought we could read it together.” 

It was a Friday, after all.

“Sure, let me put this food up,” you said. 

Tendou grinned eagerly, bouncing to his feet while you brought the food to the fridge; already talking a mile a minute about a different manga he had just finished. You couldn’t stop the smile that worked its way onto your face, you loved his aimless rambling. Where you more reserved, Tendou was outgoing and could fill any gaps in the conversation you left behind. It worked well for the two of you. 

While watching Tendou chatter away you wondered if you had been too harsh at the train station. Clearly there was an underlying insecurity that convinced him you didn’t care about him. Was it his history of bullying? Before you had really gotten to know Tendou, it was hard to imagine him as anything but carefree and untouchable. You knew he would tell you eventually. Perhaps today, perhaps tomorrow. Over the past few years you had found the best way to get Tendou to open up was to say nothing at all, his rambling always ended up on touchy topics anyways.

Tendou held out an earbud for you once you sat down on the couch beside him. You placed it in your ear and smiled when you recognized the playlist the two of you had put together. The only time Tendou could stay quiet longer than five minutes was when he was reading. You settled into the familiar routine, sitting close to him while he angled the pages towards you so you could both read. Tendou was such a fast reader you were forced to learn to speed read as well in order to keep up with him. Now, you were perfectly synchronized.

 Today, however, he couldn’t stop glancing over at you. Ugh, he suddenly so acutely aware of everything you did. Every time you shifted to see a panel or readjusted the earbud he felt his heart pickup and he was too aware of every movement he made. His limbs felt too long and awkward, his face felt too warm, and oh my god did he brush his teeth this morning? 

Tendou swallowed nervously, for once relieved for the chapter to finally end so he could put some space between your bodies. He stood up abruptly, wincing when the earbud was ripped out of his ear. 

“Ow,” you held your ear. “Is something wrong, Tendu-chan?”

“Of course not, dearest Y/N,” he put on his widest grin, bowing down and extending his hand. Fuck, your nickname for him was not helping his nerves. “I was just wondering if you would like to accompany me to the bathroom.”

“Ew, what is wrong with you?” You smacked his hand away. 

“Well, you did ask,” he chirped cheerfully before prancing down the hall. 

You sighed, replacing the earbud while settling into a more comfortable position. After several minutes you realized Tendou had yet to return. Frowning, you stood up and went to the bathroom to find the door still closed. 

“Tendu-chan?” You knocked softly. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, Y/N,” Tendou popped his head out from your bedroom. “I was looking at your photo wall.”

You raised your eyebrows, following him inside. “Yeah? I have quite a few.”

It had been a hobby of yours to have at least three pictures of each of yours friends on your wall since elementary school. Since you started hanging out with Tendou at the beginning of high school, his section had amassed a great deal of photos. 

“I forget you’ve never been in here,” you smiled, watching Tendou closely.

You had never seen such an open expression on his face before. His eyes flicked over the photos of him taped to your wall quickly, as if he couldn’t decide which to focus on. 

“I didn’t realize,” he said softly.

“Hm?”

He tilted his head back, sliding his eyes to look at you. “I didn’t realize I still had a safe place, a paradise.” 

“You’ll always be welcome here, Satori,” you reached out and squeezed his bicep. “I promise.” 

“I feel so blind, Y/N,” he closed his eyes, head still tipped back as he took in a slow, study breath. “I thought I had lost everything when volleyball ended. My friends, my passion…” 

Crimson eyes locked on your own, the intensity of them so startling you sucked in a sharp breath. 

“But I still have you,” Tendou said, slowly turning his body to face yours. “Right?”

“Of course,” you answered.

“Good,” he nodded. “Good.” 

His head turned back towards your wall of photos, fingers reaching out to snag at the bottom of one. You looked closer and saw it was a picture of the two of you at one of his games. You had jumped onto his back to hug him and your friend had barely managed to get the shot. The blurry grins on your faces were bright and excited.

“Can I?” He asked, tugging lightly on the corner. 

“Take it, I can print a new one.” You said. 

He peeled it off carefully and flashed a grin at you. 

“Thank you,” he reached out, placing his hand on the top of your head, ruffling your hair messily. 

You knocked his hand away and brushed your hair back into place with a huff. Tendou laughed loudly, sprawling backwards onto your bed with a thump. He looked at the picture once more before sliding it into his pocket. He folded his hands behind his head and looked up at you with his signature sleepy smirk. 

“Make yourself comfortable, I guess,” you said. 

“Aw, you’re so considerate,” Tendou crooned, stretching his arms out until his shirt road up to reveal his toned stomach. 

You glanced down at the exposed skin and blushed, looking away quickly. Tendou noticed, of course, and couldn’t stop the mischievous smirk on his face as he reached out and grabbed your hand. 

“Tendou-“

“Oh, hush,” he chastised lightly. “I’m just getting you to sit. This is your bed, after all.”

You sat down on the edge, watching as he pulled your hand to his chest. He examined your fingers faintly before weaving his fingers with yours. When your fingers spasmed nervously he gripped them tighter. 

“I had a lot of time to think,” he sighed, eyes still fixated on your joined hands, before elaborating. “While we were apart.”

You stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue with bated breath. 

“I like you, Y/N,” his eyes seemed to bore straight into your soul. 

“Tendu-chan-“ You started to pull your fingers away.

One second you were sitting at the edge of the bed and the next you were pinned beneath Tendou’s body. His breath tickled your lips and his hands kept your arms above your head by the wrists. 

“Please, let me say this,” he pleaded, eyes switching between yours and your lips. 

“You made high school bearable for me,” he said, pushing up until he was knelt between your legs instead of having you pinned. His hands rested on either side of your ribs. “I didn’t appreciate you enough at the time but-“

His fingers clenched in the sheets. “I do now, I appreciate you so much. Everyone else thought I was a monster, demon, whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore but when it did you were the only one who made it all easier. Does that make sense?”

“What about Ushijima? Your teammates?”

Tendou chuckled, letting his head droop between his shoulders. “Of course them, silly Y/N. They didn’t really have a choice, hm? I was on the team, you don’t really get to pick who’s there. You went out of your way to befriend me, to make sure I was okay before you even knew me.” 

You looked up at him, ignoring his little sniffle and the way he rubbed his nose against his sleeve subtly. You sat up slowly while Tendou watched you closely with his head tilted. 

“You’re my best friend, you know that right?” You asked softly. 

He nodded. 

“You will always be welcome in my home and I promise I will always want you around. You’re right, whatever those people used to say about you doesn’t matter. They were needlessly cruel and I wish I could’ve stopped them from hurting you,” you reached up, cupping his cheek gently. “You’re important, Tendu-chan. You’re caring, funny, and genuine. I love hearing about your favorite anime and your coolest blocks. I really do.” 

“Ohhh, is little Y/N crying for me?” He cooed, using his sleeve to wipe away the tears gathering on your lashes. “Sweet thing.” 

“I’m serious,” you said, letting him wipe your cheeks. 

“I know,” he squinted at you. “Will you let me try something?”

From the way his crimson eyes kept flickering down to your lips, you could easily guess what he wanted to try. You nodded mutely, breath catching excitedly as his face drew closer. 

The first touch of his lips felt like a static shock. Your eyes fluttered close as he pushed a little closer, experimentally moving his lips against yours. He let out a low groan into your mouth, pushing forward until you were laying down again. The hands that had been by your sides now moved to tangle in your hair and cup your face while his hips settled comfortably between your thighs. 

The first brush of his tongue across your bottom lip sent fire licking up your spine which eventually settled as a fluttering warmth in your stomach. Your hands came up to grab his arms, nails leaving shallow crescents on the pale skin of his biceps through his shirt. Parting with a nip to your bottom lip, Tendou licked his lips as he looked down at you. 

The sight of your flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips sent a thrill of exhilaration through his chest. 

“Well?” He asked, a cocky grin smeared across his lips. 

It was like you were seeing Tendou in a brand new light. Before he was just your friend. You always knew he was good-looking but now, you were supremely aware of his shapely lips, cut jaw, and broad shoulders. His hips between yours was as intoxicating as the elated look on his face. 

“Stop looking so smug,” you huffed, pulling him down to your lips again. 

Laughing softly, Tendou happily obliged you in another sensuous kiss that left you dizzy and breathless. He swallowed your gasp when he experimentally rolled his hips into yours.

He pulled back, eyes lidded with a dazed smile, and tilted his head. “Is that okay?”

You nodded eagerly, leaning up to capture him in another kiss. With a sly smirk he pulled out of your reach, head tilted expectantly. 

“Yes, Tendou, now please get back to it,” you snapped, secretly appreciative of his need for clear consent. 

“There we go,” he murmured, stooping back down with a thorough roll of his hips. 

A groan was shared between both of your open mouths as his hips fell into a steady rhythm, slowly undulating against you. Sighing out his name, you let your head fall back while Tendou trailed kisses across your jaw and down to your throat. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re so perfect,” he murmured breathlessly, leaving wet, open-mouth kisses down the column of your throat. “Feel so good, hah-“

 His clothed erection lined up perfectly with your core, sending searing electricity flickering through your stomach. Your hands went from gripping his arms to tangling in his hair, tugging lightly at the crimson strands. 

“Haah-ah,” you moaned at a particularly accurate thrust that had his entire length dragging along your clit. “Satori, please.” 

“Oh, fuck,” Tendou sighed into your ear, pushing aside your hair so he could hide his face in the warmth of your neck. “You’re so hot, gonna make me cum in my pants. Keep making those pretty noises for me, sweet thing.”

You nodded along eagerly, pulling his head away from your neck so your could attach your lips again. Steady thrusts began to lose their rhythm as both of you got closer to completion. Tendou let out a throaty groan, wrapping his lean arms around you tightly so he could rub his hard-on against your core with more force. 

“Satori, ah!” You cried out at the stimulation. 

He clashed his mouth against yours messily, teeth clicking while he gasped against your lips. 

“M’ close,” he clenched his eyes shut. 

“Me too, me too,” you whined, hips writhing up against his desperately. “Satori!” Tendou practically growled at that, mouth claiming yours assertively. You shouted his name again while your orgasm wracked through your body, leaving you sensitive and tingly as Tendou chased his own release. He came with a low moan into your mouth, hips rolling gently through the aftershocks. 

When he finally slowed to a stop he went completely slack on top you. Tendou mouthed gently at your neck, fingers petting your hair as you both caught your breath. You released his hair and unclenched your stiff fingers a few times before wrapping your arms around his shoulders. 

Curious hands slowly pushed beneath your shirt, tenderly exploring your body while Tendou continued to leave lazy, open-mouthed kisses on your neck. His handsiness didn’t bother you since you were also busy tracing the muscles of his back. 

You whined when he landed another quick kiss before pushing off of you. 

“I gotta clean up,” he said, darting down to kiss you again. 

That reminded you of the uncomfortable dampness in your own pants so you got up as well. You found a pair of sweatpants that he could fit into from your brother and set them by the bathroom door for him. By the time you came back from changing he was already lounging in your bed again, your brother’s sweatpants an inch or two too short  above his ankles. 

Tendou’s expression brightened when you walked in, his eyes wide to match his grin as you climbed in to lay next to him. He was quick to wrap his arms around you again. 

“Well?” He asked. 

“Hmm?” You responded, face pressed against his shoulder. 

“What are we now?” He leaned back so he could see your face. 

You stretched languidly, tossing a leg over his hips and an arm over his chest before responding. 

“What do you want this to be?” 

“I want you to be mine,” he answered honestly. 

“Then I’m yours,” you said simply, kissing the hinge of his jaw. 

“My girlfriend,” he said adoringly, twisting to his side so you were facing each other.

You laughed softly, letting him cup your cheeks so he could pull you into an unhurried kiss. His tongue pressed past your lips to sweep along your teeth and slide hotly against yours. 

“I’m pretty great at apologies, huh?” He boasted. 

“Oh, shut up,” you groaned, pushing him away by his forehead. 

Tendou let you shove his face away with a quiet giggle before brushing your hand away so he could attack your neck with more kisses. 

“You better not be leaving marks,” you threatened halfheartedly, too caught up in the addicting sensation of his lips on your body to be serious. 

Tendou eyed a particularly red spot, pressing a light kiss to it. “Of course not, baby.” 

“That didn’t sound too convincing.”

“Well… it might fade,” Tendou circled the spot with his finger. “I kinda like it.”

“Satori!”

“Whaaat?” He crooned. “It lets everyone know you’re mine.” 

“Ugh, you creep,” you murmured, accepting a soft kiss. 

Tendou giggled cheerfully, squeezing you closer to him affectionately. He left a flurry of kisses across your cheeks and nose, sighing happily. 

“I love this,” his hands roved over your body. “Getting to touch and kiss you as much as I want.” 

“Mm, me too.”

Tendou’s lean body was beautiful, so was his blush when you informed him of this. He groaned and hid his face in the crook your neck. 

“I’m serious!” You insisted, pulling his face from your neck so you could look at him.

“I know you are, thank you,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes. 

“Aww, are you embarrassed?”

Tendou scoffed. “Tch, of course not. I’m a catch, a total babe.”

Laughing, you let him bite playfully at the hinge of your jaw for a moment before shoving him away so he couldn’t leave another mark. Tendou settled down and was happy to let you brush your fingers through his hair until it lost it’s shape and started to fall over his forehead. 

“Mmm, sleepy,” he sighed, practically purring as you massaged his scalp. 

“Go to sleep then.” 

He hummed, twisting his body until he was on his stomach with half of his body draped over yours. You smiled warmly, of course Tendou was a clingy sleeper. 

[wtf-yoongi]

Let me drive. / JJK

pairing | jungkook x reader

summary | road trip + california + your koo 🥺

genre/warnings | fluff + light smut + established relationship + kinda shy/quiet jungkook

words | 3,522

note | okay so i had this idea almost a year ago and wrote around 5 versions of this since then lol i guess the stuff i write is *already* very chill but i have to say this is the chillest

If you could, you’d freeze this moment. This very moment. Right here, right now. Just as the wind blows on your hair, just as everything around you smells like sand and the sea, just as Jungkook’s smooth driving lulls you to sleep.

You look at him then. Focused on the curves of the road, a small crease in between his eyebrows as he is forced to make a particularly sharp turn. You twist again to look outside the half-opened window and all you can see are the waves coming and going, somehow closer when the car shifts — and it calms you even further. 

It’s hard to fight the heaviness of your eyelids, but you’re determined not to miss any second of this. Everything looks perfect, all around you — you can’t take it for granted. You should cherish it, imprint this in your memory, take pictures with Jungkook’s camera now that he’s busy driving and can’t do it himself. It’s within arm’s reach, but you can’t find it in you to grab it.

“You should take a nap,” Jungkook says with an unusual air in his voice. It is deep, but dreamy, and you wonder if you’ve actually fallen asleep. His right hand leaves the steering wheel to lightly touch your thigh. “You didn’t have enough sleep last night.”

“You’ve had just as much as me,” you protest, turning your body to seat properly again and blinking a few times to wake up, eyes opening as wide as possible in between each of them. “Do you think we can stop for a coffee somewhere? I bet you need it too.”

“I’m okay.”

“That’s what you always say.”

You end up convincing Jungkook you should stop somewhere, even if that somewhere is the nearest underwhelming gas station. He takes the opportunity to fill up the tank, later going inside to join you and look for the most appetizing caffeinated drink. It’s not his favorite, and neither is the one in your hands, but it’ll do for now. You take the can out of his long fingers to pay before he has a chance to protest.

“How far away are we now?”

Jungkook’s head tilts as he follows you outside, eyes wrinkling while his brain tries to remember what the GPS said before. “Not much, really. Maybe a little bit over half an hour.”

“Let me drive, then.”

He throws you the keys without thinking twice, but mostly because you know Jungkook wants to take pictures of the road — he’s never been good at hiding things and, with you in particular, there’s no point in trying anymore. He’s been driving since you left this morning and you wonder if you should’ve taken over after Pismo Beach.

Maybe you should have. He looks perfectly content as he sits on the passenger’s side and reaches for the camera not a heartbeat after putting on his seatbelt. That’s when you know you should’ve said something earlier — he’s not going to ask you to drive if he can keep going. It’s the way Jungkook’s mind works: selfless all the time.

That thought melts as soon as you look to your right and he’s pointing the camera at you, bright smile only partially covered by the device in his hands as you hear the shutter. For a second, all you can see is him. Suddenly, all you care about in the world is how you can make that smile last longer.

Is it too greedy to want it forever?

//

The rest of the way to Santa Barbara goes as smoothly as possible. Jungkook is right — it does take a little bit over half an hour to get there and you’re glad it’s early enough for you to explore the city tonight. As you cross what seems to be the main road, filled with life, shops and pretty lights, you and Jungkook make a silent agreement to come back as soon as you drop the bags in the house you’re staying in.

To be honest, Jungkook was excessive when he chose the place. He said he wanted it to be close to the beach, with a pool he could swim in at two in the morning if he wanted to — oh, yes, and private. He repeated that at least three times while you were researching. In the end, the house isn’t as close to the beach as he wished it to be, but he agreed the pool was worth it. 

When you land your eyes on it for the first time, you’re sure Jungkook made the right call.

There’s a host there to welcome you and you follow Mrs. Johnson around as she shows you all the little corners of the house. She is surprised to know only two guests are staying when the house could easily fit six, but nods with a warm smile when you mention the pool situation and the way Jungkook’s eyes lighted up when he saw the pictures. You also can’t miss the way he tries to hide himself behind you when you say that or the hand that travels down to your waist. You couldn’t see him, but you bet a thousand dollars a shy smile is in full display — dimples and all.

It only takes a few minutes for you to drag your bags inside, drink a cup of water and leave again. The house isn’t very far from the main road you’ve seen earlier and a walk after a few hours of sitting inside a car sounded like a great idea. Just before leaving, you playfully pull Jungkook’s bucket hat further down as he sits his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. Then, again, you wish you could freeze the moment, but only if you could attach an audio file with his giggle and that playful stop it with it.

There’s a comfortable warmth from all around you as you walk. The breeze is hot and, although the temperature is bearable, Jungkook’s hand in yours becomes clammy in under five minutes — not that it is enough reason to let it go, it’s just not the most comfortable and definitely not as pleasant as the feeling of his hands intertwined with yours midwinter.

You can tell Jungkook is excited. His feet are light on the scolding asphalt and he’s paying extra attention to every detail his doe-like eyes are able to reach — almost as if he’s also looking to imprint this moment in his brain. In fact, he could be getting help with that by taking pictures, but decides to leave the camera hanging by its strap on his waist for reasons you don’t quite understand. You also don’t ask, too happy to raise questions about anything.

There’s something about this city that makes you feel welcomed. It’s much like the charming towns you’ve visited along the coast ever since leaving the busy San Francisco a couple of days ago, but there’s something particularly special about it. You were expecting it to be filled with tourists enjoying their summer day, streets buzzing with cars and no available parking spots whatsoever only to be met by a steady rhythm of people walking, chatting and passing you by without a second glance. It’s less busy and more easygoing than you anticipated.

Jungkook also seems to notice that.

“I like it here,” he says, echoing your thoughts with ease. Jungkook’s head turns all around, taking it all in before landing his curious eyes on you. “I think this one is my favorite so far.”

You can’t help the snort that leaves your nose. “You’ve said that for every place we’ve been to.”

“Well, every place has been better than the last. What do you want me to say?”

Just as the words leave his lips, the elegant lamps lining the sidewalk come to life. You notice you’re not the only ones with chins up and surprised eyes — suddenly, you can point to every tourist standing within this block as locals move on with their lives as if nothing happened.

“Honestly, how can this not be my favorite so far?” Jungkook asks rhetorically, finally letting go of your hand to reach for his camera. He turns it on without even looking at the device, snapping picture after picture until he’s satisfied with the framing and lighting. “These lights are so pretty…” He comments as he checks his viewfinder. “Let me take one of you just standing there.”

He takes a few steps back to fit you in frame and you hear the shutter many times before he’s back by your side.

“Why don’t we get something to eat?” He suggests, quick to take your hand again as soon as the camera is back to its original place.

“That’d be nice. Craving anything in particular?”

“Food,” he answers simply and with a smile. “Anything you want.”

You end up inside a diner eight minutes from where you were. The reviews online were great and you can see the place is popular by the amount of people sitting when it’s still so early in the night. The sun hasn’t completely set, but you can already feel the temperature drop a little — not too much, you think, to forgo the pool later.

Jungkook eats like he’s been starving the whole day. One entrée isn’t enough for him, so he orders two and you feel like you should save some room for the burger coming in later. His fingers are greasy from all the fried chicken, so are his lips, and you can’t help but smiling fondly at him when he looks up from the bone he just sucked on. 

Right then, you wonder how in the world you ended up with him on the other side of the planet — the odds were never in your favor, but everything worked out somehow.

Ending up on the other side of the planet was the easy part.

//

The walk back to the house seems longer. Maybe it’s the weight of all the food in your stomach, maybe you’re finally feeling the need to rest after another busy day driving and seeing new places — maybe it’s both. Jungkook seems to feel it too, lazily swaying your connected (thoroughly cleaned) hands, dragging his feet and showing signs of running low on energy. For a moment, you think it’s possible he forgets about the pool and decides to just go to bed.

However tired, his eyes light up when he sees the pool area like it’s the first time and you have to admit it looks incredible. The water is so still it doesn’t look real and small decorative lamps illuminate it all around, creating a peaceful and inviting atmosphere. You can see how spent Jungkook is by the way his shoulders seem to be leaning forward a bit, but, still, he’s taking off his shirt and mumbling something about changing into a different pair of shorts.

Maybe he’s right. A quick dip in the water might just be the thing to relax your body and prepare it for the best sleep of your life.

Jungkook is already in the water when you come back in a bikini — with his back pressed to the pool, head resting on the edge and hair a wet mess. His eyes may be barely open, but he still sees you and raises a lazy hand out of the water to invite you in.

“It’s surprisingly not cold,” he assures you, a comforting smile on his lips. “Also, it’s not as deep, I’m just not really standing properly.”

A giggle leaves your lips as you move to sit on the edge right next to where he is, carefully letting a foot in to surprisingly — as Jungkook said — not immediately remove it because it’s too cold. You just wanted to sit there for a while getting used to the temperature before committing to a full dip, but he’s not having it.

“Come on,” Jungkook whines a little, clinging onto one of your legs. “We don’t have much time before I fall asleep in the water and drown.” He snorts and you can’t help falling for his shy smile. “I want to hold you in the water while we look at the stars together.”

“We can do that tomorrow if you want,” you suggest, trying not to let his words melt you completely while you move to fix a wet strand of hair in front of his eyes. “We’re staying here for one more night.”

However, in true Jungkook fashion, he doesn’t give up. “But I want it right now.”

And, in true you fashion, you give in to him.

//

The next morning, you wake up with a heavy and warm arm on top of your frame. The heat from Jungkook’s body on your back becomes too much as the hours pass and the room gets hit by an increasingly hotter sun. Unfortunately, it seems like your brain can’t get your limbs to move away from him without regaining consciousness.

It’s past 9 in the morning by the time you stretch an arm towards your phone. Groaning, you try reaching out for the air conditioner remote, but it’s maybe an inch too far. Before you can wiggle out of his grasp, though, you hear a low objection, grunt muffled by your own hair and skin.

Softly, you mutter a few words. “Just a second, Guk, I really need to get that.”

Subconsciously or not, Jungkook eases the grip he has around your middle and you’re finally able to hold the remote in your hands, lowering the temperature and increasing the speed. After the few beeps, a minute passes and you’re taking a deep breath, happy to feel the cool air around your limbs. 

“You’re shivering now,” he says, surprising you after a long and comfortable silence. Blindly, he feels around for the white sheets, fixing them on your torso all the way to your chin.

“I’m not shivering,” you assure him, uncovering an arm in a stubborn act. “I have a t-shirt on, it’s fine.”

He hums. “I’ll have you out of that in around thirty minutes. Don’t count on it too much.”

You smile, turning to him, but Jungkook still has his eyes closed. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“I told you: thirty minutes. Don’t rush, we’re on vacation,” he justifies himself, words lazy just like the smirk that appears on his lips. “Let me wake up properly.”

True to his words, you both rest for a little while before Jungkook starts making his move. You would’ve guessed he had fallen back to sleep from how steadily he was breathing just a few seconds ago, but you couldn’t have been more wrong — not when his lips are connected to the column of your throat and you begin to feel the weight of his body on your left side.

Suddenly, your whole world is surrounded by him. All you can feel, see and smell is made of Jungkook, from his hair tickling your face to the firm hand wandering around like it’s discovering your body for the first time. You sigh and moan a little when he marks you particularly hard or when his right hand moves to place your leg around his waist and you just know he’s satisfied. Jungkook lives for that, for knowing he does that to you.

There’s a light and soft laugh coming out of his lips before he turns to the other side of your neck, head stopping midway to plant a chaste and quiet kiss on your lips. 

“Promise me we’ll stay inside the whole day.” He’s just slightly out of breath, a feat that doesn’t go unnoticed by you — not after he’s taken care of your left side like that. He’s always so dedicated. “I really don’t want to get out of the house.”

“If you don’t want to.” The words would be perfectly accompanied by a shrug, but his body weight doesn’t let you. It’s just the right amount of pressure to feel him everywhere and, if you paid enough attention, you’d be able to sense his quick heartbeats too. “Yeah, we can stay in.”

“Good.”

You can see his eyes sparkle before he’s too close to focus, head dipping in to take your lips again. This time, however, the kiss is far from pure, delicately but firmly moving to open up your mouth and work restlessly until you’re completely out of breath.

You don’t know exactly when he starts slowly motioning his hips forward, senses overloaded with him everywhere, but you can feel your whole body respond to it. When you sigh yet again and his name comes out in a whimper, hand gripping his neck like your life depends on it, he knows.

“Let’s get you out of this,” he suggests, now a little bit past slightly out of breath as he proceeds to lift the t-shirt up and up until it’s free and thrown somewhere.

You couldn’t check the time then, but, if you could, you’d notice exactly thirty one minutes have passed.

//

“Have you even applied any sunscreen?” You call out from the inside of the house, holding a simple and delicious cup of cold water in your hands.

When you’re thirsty, everything will taste incredible.

“No!” He simply answers, ridding his hair of the excess water. “I’m only staying for twenty minutes while you shower, no need for sunscreen.”

“Yes need for sunscreen,” you disagree, sipping your water one last time before rummaging through your bag in search of the light blue bottle.

You immediately feel it in your skin as soon as you’re not covered by the roof of the house anymore. It is, after all, almost lunch time and the sun is at its peak — beautiful, majestic and burning hot. It only takes a few steps for you to reach the border of the pool and Jungkook gets the message, slowly walking towards you in the water.

“Dry your face and shoulders, please,” you demand at once, throwing him a small towel that was hanging around one of the lounge chairs. Luckily, he’s quick enough to catch it before it falls into the pool.

Still, Jungkook complains quietly. “It’s just twenty minutes, it’s really not a big deal.”

“It’s not a big deal until your cheeks are completely red,” you argue, squeezing a bit of the product on your fingers and soon applying it to his forehead and down his blushed nose. “Look, it’s already rosy from the walk we took. You should’ve asked for the sunscreen earlier.”

“Okay, okay,” he begrudgingly agrees just as he closes his eyes, your hands running close to the eyebrows. “You know what? We should’ve booked this place for one more day.”

“You think so?” You ask, finally bringing your hands back and closing the lid of the sunscreen bottle. “Don’t dip your head in the water for at least a few minutes, please,” you warn.

“Yeah. I mean, we’ve been to LA before, we know how it is. I think I like it here more,” Jungkook explains, swimming backwards towards the middle of the pool. “We’re staying in a hotel for two days before going back home. A hotel doesn’t have this.”

“The hotel has a pool.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes playfully. “You know what I mean. We can’t have this in a hotel.”

“We can just rest for two days,” you suggest. “Wake up and eat and nap and eat and…”

He laughs and twirls in the water. “I hate to interrupt you, but we’ll be late for checkout if you don’t go shower.”

“Right.”

//

There’s something about being on the road with him that brings you nothing but peace. It must be the perfect combination of clear skies, warm winds, the comfortable silence and the freedom of being on the road. Even with a destination in mind, it doesn’t feel like you need to follow it through. You can go anywhere, do anything, stop the car in the middle of nowhere and stare at the sea for an hour if you want to.

It almost makes you feel nostalgic for something that is happening right now.

The road gets busier and busier the closer you get to the city. Around here, you can see the mansions up in the hills, the exclusive restaurants here and there, and the fancy cars accelerating past the maximum speed displayed on the road signs of Malibu. Still, when you slowly press the brakes to stop on a red light, it feels like you’re in your own little world.

It’s always like this. He’s there and, suddenly, it hits. Everything around you melts, there’s nothing else. Sometimes, when Jungkook’s in the room, it almost looks like he shines — to you, there’s a bright, golden aura surrounding him. It’s warm, inviting and irresistible.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything when he sees the corners of your lips tug up without a reason, deciding to just mirror them. Once again, you find yourself wishing you could freeze this moment — this very moment. Just as his smile reaches his sparkling eyes and an airy laugh escapes his lips.

“Baby, the lights have just turned green.”

Read more ›› masterlist

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Barbecue Party with all the skeletons

Undertale Sans - He's the idiot one who proposed to do a barbecue with everyone. He didn't know what he was getting into, he just wanted to be nice. Now his garden is on fire, damn, even the damn lake is on fire, and he's regretting his all life. Why did he accept again?

Undertale Papyrus - So, at first, Papyrus was supposed to cook. But then Edge came and pushed him so he can cook instead, without even asking him. Now, Papyrus is nice and all, but he didn't like that, and when he gently asked Edge to move, he insulted in return. So... Papyrus got angry and threw a sausage at his face. Edge stopped, then looked at him with a dark murderous glaire, then chased him, throwing bones at his face.

Underswap Sans - Once Papyrus and Edge are gone, he decided he would be the one to cook for everyone. Except... Uh... He doesn't really know how you're making flames with a barbecue. So he just kinda... You know, used Nox's flamethrower he took in case someone would threat him. Welp, it made flames actually. It burned the entire thing. And a part of the forest. And also the lake somehow. So Blue just let everything like this and went to hide. It was Nox's flamethrower that did this anyway, he's totally innocent.

Underswap Papyrus - He was just sitting with Rus, eating chicken mc nuggets because they didn't want to die with Papyrus' food, when suddenly the all garden embrased??? Honey immediately panicked, asking Rus what they were supposed to do. Rus just answered "It's not my war dude" and vanished in the air. Honey is now stuck in the middle of the flames, jumping and shaking his hands like a Sim to call someone for help.

Underfell Sans - He was about to help his brother cook sausages when he noticed the sausages were gone. So he kinda investigated, and found Oak, Copper and Dune eating everything, cooking it with a small part of the fire actually consumming the garder. So... He joined them. He's too hungry for this anyway.

Underfell Papyrus - After chasing his pseudo-pacifist clone that tried to kill him with a sausage, Edge lost his track. He's pissed off, of course, but he can't run more. He still need to cook the damn other sausages. Except when he's coming back, everything is on fire. He sighed loudly. And this is why he is the true hero of the city. He's not here for two seconds and everyone is dying. How did they manage to survive so many time without him around? Trully, they must all be braindead. While he's flattering himself mentally, his scarf are touching the flames. What could possibly go wrong?

Horrortale Sans - Him and Copper were guarding the food, when suddenly, something attacked them and stole the food. Now, Copper and Oak are not fighters, but don't you fucking touch their food. They ran in the garden and managed to catch Dune. Then the garden just transform into a barbecue. As everyone is running in panick, Oak, Copper and their hostage decided to just... eat everything on their own because there was no way they were wasting the food. And then Red joined us.

Horrortale Papyrus - Thank god, Willow has a brain. As everything is turning into flames, he runs to find water inside the house. Except he mistook the water with hydrochloric acid and now the flames are even bigger. Willow screamed for help, but everyone is either gone or busy trying to suffocate the fire elsewhere.

Horrorfell Sans - Seeing that many people triggered him so he kinda just followed Oak everywhere, since he's sort of his comfort skeleton and he has always food on him. They were having a nice day watching the sausages when someone stole the sausages, then they chase the guy who stole the food, then the garden was on fire and instead of trying to stop this, Oak decided to organize a private barbecue. At this point, Copper thinks everyone is crazy and that he will wakes up soon. Then Edge runs in front of them, screaming, his scarf on fire, his own brother rolling behind them in his wheelchair with a bucket of water to try to save him. So he left Oak and went to help his bro.

Horrorfell Papyrus - He saw Edge scarf burned and tried to warn him, but in his wheelchair, it was already too late. So he kinda followed Edge as fast as he could to help with a bucket of water. But then Edge entered the house, and he got distracted by Willow carrying Rus like a princess, and now the house is also on fire. He's fucking tired of this.

Swapfell Sans - So... Nox came with a flamethrower in case someone got too close for him. But since the Mafia bros had a bottle of wine, he decided to join them. He was talking shit about the others with Torpedo when the garden and the house got caught in fire. They both decided to... do nothing. Nox is too drunk anyway to get up now. They're just watching the world burn with a smile.

Swapfell Papyrus - When the garden got light up, he ditched Honey to teleport out of danger, on the roof. But then Willow fucked up, and flames started to eat the house. Rus panicked, then slipped and fell of the roof... right in Willow's hands, that caught him by reflex. Rus flustered suddenly, but their moment got interrupted by Edge, on fire, running into the house, setting everything on fire on his way.

Outertale Sans and Papyrus - So, at first, they didn't came to the party. But then Papyrus rang at their door in panic, and told them that Edge was trying to murder him. So they locked with Papyrus inside the house. Then Papyrus kinda forgot the party and played video games with Moon and Sun, and then they all stopped suddenly, humming the air. "... UH IS SOMETHING BURNING?" "... Nah, probably the barbecue." "OH OK". Then they're going back to the game, unaware of what's happening outside.

Dancetale Sans and Papyrus - Rambo did the splits... and got stuck. His brother was trying to help him when they got circled with flames. So Salsa did the only logic thing : he climbed in a TREE with his brother. Except now the tree is burning and these two idiots are screaming at each other in panic because Rambo is too panicked to teleport.

Dancefell Sans - He was tired of the music and switched to rock metal. And then the garden got lit up with the fire. He looks at his hands in shock. Did the god of metal heard him? Damn, that's fucking creepy. He's getting out of here.

Dancefell Papyrus - He's watching Rambo and Salsa struggling on their tree. It's so hilarious. Damn, it the best day of his life. A tragic fire, drama everywhere... He's recording and reviewing everything on live-Instagram. It's making billions of views right now.

Farmtale Sans - He just got away two minutes to grab some veggies, and now it's the apocalypse. Fortunately, he has good reflexes. He catches Edge and then yeet him back into the pond outside with his magic, saving the house, while Willow and Chief are saving the kitchen. Edge is insulting him, but at least he is alive.

Farmtale Papyrus - Blue found him on his way to flee out of his place. Ben is having a panic attack because of the fire, so Blue just dragged him in the wood so he can calm down. And more important, he has an alibi now if somehow is searching who set the fire. He's such an evil genius.

Mafiatale Sans and Papyrus - "UH... BROTHER? SHOULD WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE GIANT FIRE COMING OUR WAY?" "the fucking what coming where?". Yeah, they stayed at home, but the huge fire is coming their way and they are a bit concerned about this now.

Mafiafell Sans - Fang wanted to have a nice evening with his brother, but then that asshole from Swapfell showed up and stole his chair and his drink. Fang wanted to kill him to teach him respect, but then, Torpedo started to laugh with him? Fang is so jealous and upset he's going to walk his dogs in the wood. When he's coming back, there's giant fire between his house and Sans' house. He's getting back in the woods. It's too late for this.

Mafiafell Papyrus - He's having a great time bitching on everyone with Nox. Also, this idiot is so drunk Torpedo managed to make him give his gold mastercard number, and the localisation of all his diamonds. He keeps serving wine to Nox, maybe there's more to learn. Who cares about fire when you can ruin your drunk neighbour?

Ink - He's just coming back from an AU and teleports himself... In the flames. He's running to the pond and pushes back Edge into the water as he was trying to get out.

Error - He's at home, in his bed, and all he hears is screaming. He is slowly losing his mind and is ready to erase all these dirty idiot glitches out of reality. He's so pissed off he's going to sleep in the anti-void.

Disbelief Papyrus - He's late, and now everything is burning. He sniffes. Everyone hates him, that's why they burn everything without him. Then something fells on his head and knocks him off.

Dustale Sans - So, after everything got on fire and that he ate all the sausages with Oak, he decided to get home. But then he saw Delta, standing there in shock, and randomly decided to befriend him by kidnapping him. He's spending the rest of the night looking blankly at Delta in his small house, while the others are finally stopping the fire.

[crispyjenkins]

Rexobi. I really just wanna see Rex and Obi-wan drinking together and complaining about the disaster that is Anakin Skywalker. They decide to team up to get anakin to calm the heck down and to talk about his feelings. Anakin doesn’t realize what’s going on but gets the idea he needs to play matchmaker with his master and his captain. He thinks he’s the smart one but he’s really not

(i have once again chickened out of your full prompt and instead give you the leadup to rexobi getting anakin to talk about his feelings. 

i uhhh may be unable to think of anything but a rexobi au à la this post by @norcumii and @dharmaavocado about roleswap-ish senior padawan obi hella vibing with this mutant clone that can’t get above the rank of captain even as an arc trooper because the kaminoans are Like That, and qui-gon is going spare, because between anakin somehow being allowed to be in charge of a whole battalion and obi-wan picking fights with every single seperatist leader, he and cody never get a moment of peace. and like. just obi and rex being dumbass 20 year olds trying to deal with a general/master like anakin in the middle of a war. i don’t have TIME for that though

thank you for the prompt as always, i think this is the only rexobi/obex prompt i’ve ever gotten and this ship is criminally underappreciated. like?? kadavo?? anyways here’s whatever this is)

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 Not for the first time, Rex wishes Kote were the one here dealing with this, because “how to comfort your favorite Jedi” hadn’t exactly been covered in ARC training – actually, Alpha probably withheld the information on purpose, the fucker.

  But Kote is on the other side of the galaxy with the 187th and just as upset they’re not here in Rex’s stead: it’s barely a month off General Kenobi returning to his own face, and Rex knows his vod would strangle the entire Senate if given even half a chance for deploying them separately on their general’s first mission back after the Hardeen... incident. 

  And Fett’s Ghost knows Rex’s own general is going to pitch a fit when he finds out Rex is here instead of taking leave like the rest of the 501st, but Kote certainly wasn’t about to let Kenobi go all the way to Alderaan unguarded so soon after his supposed death; and honestly, Rex would have been offended if they had asked anybody else to do it. Thankfully, Kenobi hadn’t seemed offended when Rex had shown up at the Jedi Temple’s flight hangar before he could take off; instead, he had been rather amused. 

  Even luckier, Alderaan is barely a day’s jump from Coruscant, so they don’t have to spend too much time awkwardly pretending that Rex hadn’t attended the man’s funeral in Kote's place (that he would have attended anyways), or that Rex doesn’t know Anakin hasn’t spoken to his former master since their debrief to the High Council about Cad Bane. Which Rex should absolutely not know in the first place, but Anakin is his friend, for better or for worse, and Ahsoka thinks her master airs far too many of his grievances to his captain.

  It isn't until their cruiser is making the descent over Alderaan that Kenobi finally addresses the tension between them, which only proves that Kenobi is well aware of it, but had put it off as long as he could. It's a humanising observation, that Rex wishes he could have had when he isn't the only vod in a ten mile radius that isn't the pilot, because at least then he wouldn't be the sole receiver of the soft smile Kenobi gives him as he joins Rex to wait by the shuttle's access hatch.

  Rex thanks his progenitor's laughing corpse he has his bucket on, because all he can do is stare. 

  "You are worried about Anakin," Kenobi says matter of factly, though not unkindly, and Rex lets out a breath that's almost a laugh. 

  "I promise I am far more discrete with my thoughts in the field, sir."

  Kenobi chuckles warmly, tucking his arms behind his back to watch the planet under them grow larger as they approach. "Do try not to worry so much, my dear, this will all resolve itself in time." 

  It's hard to stare right at his gentle assuredness, so Rex looks away. "You have far more faith in his ability to forgive than I, sir."

  That laugh strains at the edges. "Yes, well, I'm afraid some of my lessons seem to have been... lacking."

  Rex has regs carbon-printed on his brain, he knows that even without the direct chain of command, the soft push and pull of his relationship with Kenobi, the steady, serene growth of it, is... problematic, for so many reasons that he wouldn't know where to start. Not least of all is rank, how much more important a Jedi is than a replaceable CC-track washout, but, well, Rex had washed out for being too emotional, so it's not as if he's exactly unused to reacting to things inappropriately for a good little soldier.

  "It's not my place, sir," he murmurs, remembering Kadavo, remembering Umbara, remembering the hand Kenobi had laid on his shoulder for far too long after the Blue Shadow virus, and has Rex really been this gone since then? "just say the word and I won't mention it again. But just because Kote isn't here doesn't mean you have to... shoulder all of this alone."

  In fact, it's wildly not his place to make such an offer, however implicit, but that month on Kadavo did happen, and Rex isn't so self-deprecating to believe he  hadn't had a heavy hand in helping Kenobi make it out on the other side as well as he did. He doesn't think so little of the bond they had formed then, to believe that Obi-Wan is unaware of it. 

  Not when he smiles at Rex like that, like he's a warm cup of caf after a week in the trenches, like Rex is... worthy of such sincere affection. 

  As the shuttle settles around them and the pilot announces their arrival over comm, Obi-Wan simply says, "I did not for a moment believe I was, my dear."

-

  "You and Rex seem close."

  Normally Obi-Wan can feel Anakin coming from an entire corridor away, but he also knows Quinlan has been teaching him a few Shadow tricks, so he isn't entirely surprised when Anakin appears at his elbow in the empty bridge looking like a smug necu.

  Aside from eating firstmeal with Kote in the mess, Obi-Wan hasn't even seen Rex today, much less interacted with him: as he understands it, Rex is trying to round up the remaining 501st shinies that are running around the Negotiator, so Obi-Wan really doesn't know where Anakin had gotten that notion. Recently, at least. 

  Anakin rolls his eyes and scoffs, leaning back on the railing next to him and crossing his arms. "Please, Master, even Snips has noticed."

  Obi-Wan refrains from telling him that anyone with a modicum more self-awareness than him has noticed. Be that as it may, "This is one of those times where I truly don't know what you're trying to say, my dear: I have been close with Rex since he was in the 212th."

  It isn't even an exaggeration, that there had been... something between them before Anakin whisked Rex away to his own battalion after his knighting, though back then it had been nothing more than friendship. If he recalls correctly, and he does, the cleanup of the Ryloth capitol had been the first time since then that they had worked closely, while Anakin had been on the ground with the locals and Mace had been with General Syndulla, and Obi-Wan had found he still quite enjoyed the way they worked together. Their time on Naboo combating the Blue Shadow virus had only endeared the captain more to him —he does remember a slip in propriety in his relief that Rex had been rescued safely with Padmé and Ahsoka, a hand left too long on the captain's shoulder until Kote had called him away— enough that Obi-Wan had been both relieved and horrified that it was Rex there to support him on Kadavo.

  "Cody said Rex was the one to go with you to Alderaan; you sure nothing 'happened' while you were there?" Anakin chuckles to himself like he's being incredibly clever, like there isn’t a hickey visible over the collar of his under tunic.

  Obi-Wan raises a brow slowly and refrains from rolling his eyes. "Despite what you may believe, Anakin, not everyone leaps into committed relationships after life-threatening situations." Not that Alderaan had been life-threatening, it had actually been as close to actual leave as Obi-Wan has had the entire war.

  "Please, it took Padmé and I ages to–" 

  Anakin seems to swallow his tongue, then, face rapidly going purple, and it really is a miracle the entire Republic doesn’t know about his marriage; the GAR certainly does.

  Sighing, Obi-Wan checks the chrono and decides it isn't too early for another cup of tea. "If you have a specific question about my relationship with Captain Rex, I do wish you’d be direct, my dear."

  Anakin splutters. "Relationship?!"

  "Great Maker, Anakin, you’re easier to spook than a half-starved blurrg." He pats Anakin’s arm, his sonbrother floundering for anything other than abject confoundment, as Obi-Wan turns away from the bridge to go locate both tea, and his commander to hopefully finalise their newest mission orders. "Don't worry," he calls over his shoulder, "I'll actually let you come to the wedding, unlike someone."

  Not that Obi-Wan has any such plans, Maker knows he and Rex have yet to address their feelings in the first place, but he'd be lying if part of him doesn't want to conspire with the captain in question —and perhaps Ahsoka— to see just how far they could take this before Anakin realises they're stringing him along. 

 Remarkably, Rex is waiting by Obi-Wan’s office with a flimsi cup of tea and a harried smile that promised quite the day chasing after shinies, and Obi-Wan decides conning his former apprentice can wait.

Mando’a: vod/e — “brother/s”, “comrade/s”, “sibling/s”, technically gender neutral but used most often in fandom as “brother/s”

[yostresswritinggirl]

okay, the part 2 of the universe reversal hcs i made are going off slow bc of my shitty brain

BUT! BUT!

THE KFC AND GENSHIN IMPACT COLLABORATION MADE LOWKEY ME THINK: "what would be the simps' reactions to [y/n] representing it and wearing some hot uniform (like daddyluc 🥺🥺)?" AND THAT QUESTION HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY MIND EVER SINCE HELP

this is giving me major brainrot 😔😔

-🐞

You made me brainrot so now you get this >:((

Okay, okay, let's try and make this accurate. Let's go with KFC still because why not, that and I blanked out with which other company partnered with games.

So remember how that little promo is China-exclusive? So the only ones who have access to the bucket and the wings are: Xiao, Ganyu, and Zhongli because they live in China! And the others are DREADFUL of this fact.

Childe would probably be the person bitching about KFC, like why KFC, I don't eat there for multiple reasons! type of guy but will do anything for his waifu type of guy still. You bet he's gonna get hold of a bucket in some MIRACULOUS way. (Amazon had one for sale and he's one of the absurd people to buy one it)

Diluc has the wings as part of the CBT giveaway, but he's one of the salty people either way. He's gonna be uhm adamant on the skins feature, something he didn't care much about before, and would demand Mihoyo or subtly suggest during his bug reports.

Kaeya will pull strings and end up getting a bucket with chicken either way, somehow, no one really knows how that bucket from China ended up in Germany... the chicken is still pretty hot... He's got the fanart of it all saved.

Albedo is of course, the fanartist. Comic strip of ordering at KFC, all that stuff, you know now that people see it that bucket art looks familiar- he may not have access to it, but he's gonna paint a bucket for himself. It's much better.

Venti would be the one desperate enough to commission a STANDEE. He also has some shitty edits of himself standing in a China KFC, or holding the bucket himself, he's a full on meme. Is also one of the people like anon to spread the agenda about the existence of this crossover.

I got kinda lazy since I already mentioned them earlier, but Ganyu and Xiao bought their own buckets. Honestly, Ganyu only eats there for the salad bar, she might have asked a co-worker for their bucket instead. While Xiao is one of the first customers to ever buy one.

Zhongli uhm... the buckets around his area were sold out every time he tries to buy it, and when there is stock, he doesn't have the money to buy one (it's kinda expensive), but like somehow, SOMEHOW through sheer charisma and his aura of pureness— he got one of those cardboard marketing cutout of KFC.

He posed with it, took a selfie, sunglasses on (cuz that's what the hip children do these days, right?) and posted it with caption "Checkmate." And the whole fandom went wild.

I need a Universe Reversal banner.

[cacoetheswriting]

champagne problems, ch.11

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Eleven: I Know It’s Over: Things get a little more clearer as you deal with the pain Spencer caused. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: swearing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, jealousy, talk of breakup/s, mentions of alcohol consumption / intoxication, serious serious angst, this whole series is a real slow burn.

series masterlist

A/N: everyone go thank @ellesgreenaway​ for getting me out of my writing rut just in time to get this chapter done! and as always, i wanted to reiterate how fucking grateful i am that y'all are reading, and liking, this little story! it means the world to me! also, i didn't reread this so there may some mistakes ill fix later, sorry!!

-

People love weekends. They’re like a mini holiday. A break from the tedious and repetitive cycle that is Monday to Friday. Weekends are time spent away from the office, your profession and whatever that entails. They are time spent away from completing menial tasks. A break.

Saturdays and Sundays help regain all of the lost energy. When people get caught up in everyday life, weekends remind them to enjoy the simple things. They gives the opportunity to try new things, visit family and friends, or allow to simply spend some time alone. People love weekends.

Your weekend however, was an utter blur.

Aiding a killer hangover on Saturday, you opted to spend the day in bed. A plastic bucket within your reach and a bottle of water on the side table. You slept a lot. Partially to ease the headache, but mainly to ease the pain you were experiencing in your chest. The heartache.

The only thing you could remember from the night before was Spencer completely shattering your hopes and dreams, and the first six shots of tequila you took after at a nearby bar. You weren't entirely sure how you got home; the next morning Ethan clarified he picked you up after the bartender rang him using your phone. Not one of your proudest moments.

Your lack of motivation carried onto Sunday. The grief you were experiencing was not unfamiliar, after all Spencer’s broken up with you before. Although this time the agony that accompanied it felt a lot more intense. You couldn't move, or eat, or even shower. You were frozen. Stuck to the bed as if it was your only lifeline.

Thankfully Ethan was working both days. In your eyes, he was too preoccupied to notice something was wrong. Unbeknown to you however, he knew exactly the reason behind your melancholy.

The weekend soon ended, almost as soon as it began. Monday morning rolled around and with it the encouragement to get out of bed. Not like you wanted to. If you had it your way, you would never leave the comfort and safety of your duvet again. You knew however, you couldn't stay home without at least some of your colleagues questioning your absence, asking what was wrong. No. It was time to face reality.

Time to face Spencer.

The brunette doctor was sat at his desk. He arrived to work today earlier than usual, about four hours early to be exact. He made his usual cup of coffee and since then he hasn't moved an inch, just staring silently at his phone.

It wasn't something he done often, honestly he only carried the thing around for work purposes. But something happened that he couldn't quite get over.

On Saturday morning, Spencer woke up to a message left on his voicemail. A message from you.

At first it was hard to decipher what you were saying, or rather what you were mumbling. Between the drunken hiccups, slurred speech, and obnoxious background noise, Spencer initially thought it was a butt dial. It must have been, right? He was after breaking your heart for a second time, why would you leave him a voicemail?

However, hearing your melodic tone just saying his name, prompted Spencer to listen to the message again. It was then he really heard the distorted words coming out of your mouth.

“Spencerrrrrr, I uh I don't believe yo-ou. I know-w in uh my hearrrt-t you d-didn't mean it.” Hiccup. “P...p-please let’ssss forgetuh abo-ut it.” Hiccup. “I-I love youh-uh anddd I kno-ow you love meeee. I jussst kno-w.” Hiccup. “I-I me-an you uh couldn't-t even look me-e in the eye when you sss-said it.... please-e S-Spencer-”

The message cuts off and he’s left dumbfounded.

Blood drained from his face. The voicemail registered in his brain and he suddenly felt dizzy. Nauseous even. His hands began to tremble in his lap, and he swore if he wasn't sitting down he would have fainted.

By Monday, Spencer had listened to the voicemail a painstakingly two-hundred and eleven times. He had it memorised, and yet he kept playing it over and over again just to hear your voice.

As he sat at his desk, waiting for his colleagues to arrive, he wondered whether you remembered sending it. Truthfully, he hoped you didn't. It would be easier to move on that way - as if moving on from you was an option.

The glass door opened and he heard a faint sound of footsteps walk across the bullpen. Footsteps Spencer would honestly recognise anywhere. Taking in a deep breath, he glanced up from his phone and slightly turned his head, his gaze landing on you.

The air caught in Spencer’s throat, the voicemail instantly replaying in his head.

He wondered what you were thinking. Simply by looking at you he could tell you were in pain. Pain he caused, and he hated himself for it. Having spent countless hours over Saturday and Sunday rethinking the situation, he knew he made a mistake. He should have never given into Ethan’s smug demands. And even if, he should have told you what happened. Leave the choice up to you, as it was in the first place.

It was too late now to fix this, Spencer knew even if you remembered sending the voicemail you wouldn't listen to what he had to say anyway. Selfishly, he wanted you to look at him. He wanted to gaze into your eyes as the drunken message replayed in his mind yet again.

And although you could feel his eyes on you, you couldn't bring yourself to meet his stare. No. The heartache would only intensify. This was a mistake. You should have stayed home. With a blank expression, you placed your bag on your desk and hurried in the direction of the office kitchenette.

Spencer on the other hand followed you with his gaze. Every fibre of his being screamed to follow you, to talk to you. But he was completely frozen and remained glued to his own chair. Once again, a true display of cowardliness.

By lunch time, the whole team picked up on the odd dynamic between you and the handsome doctor. Two people that spent every waking moment together were no longer speaking to one another.  It didn't take a profiler to see something was wrong.

You hid in Penelope’s lair with the bubbly blonde and Tara. Enjoying a couple minutes of peace away from the prying eyes of everyone you worked with, most importantly however, away from Spencer.

“So chicken, are you going to tell us what’s wrong?” Garcia enquired, taking a mouthful of her lunch. “Because a blindman could see something is off, and don't you dare telling me I’m delusional or something.”

“Penelope is right, Y/N. Last time you were this silent and upset was when Spencer was in prison.”

You let out a deep sigh at the sound of his name. It was no use hiding your feelings from them, they would figure it out eventually. Plus these were the people you trusted more than anything in the world. If you couldn't tell them, then who could you tell what was going on?

“It’s something similar.” You mumbled, avoiding their gaze. “Just much much worse this time...”

“Well whatever it is, you can tell us. We’re here for you.” Penelope chimed, and reached out her hand to grab yours. She gave it a gentle squeeze and shot you a reassuring smile.

“Yes, exactly. We will support you through anything, you know that.” Tara added nodding along.

You sniffled. What were becoming all too familiar tears formed in the corners of your eyes, and you knew you would break down at any given second. Taking in a long breath, you began to tell the two girls everything that’s happened since your engagement. They listened attentively, never turning their attention away from you. As they listened, they both held your hands and took turns whispering ‘it’s okay’ or ‘take your time’.

“I’m going to kill our resident genius. He won't know what’s coming.” Penelope murmured after you finished in an attempt to lighten the mood. The corners of your lips twitched ever so slightly upwards as you wiped the tears away from your face.

“What are you going to do?” Tara asked after a congenial moment of silence.

“Ehm...” You cleared your throat. “S-Spencer wants nothing to do with me, but uhm... I after everything I c-can’t, I just can't be with Ethan. I can’t-t.”

The girls both nodded their heads, and even though they understood exactly what you meant by what you were saying, you still felt like you had to say the words aloud. For your own sake.

“So, uhm, I-I’m going to break up with Ethan. I-I’m going to end the engagement.” You stated, and even though your heart still ached, you felt as if a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You felt free.

And I know it's over - still I cling I don't know where else I can go 

-

A/N: as always i’d love to hear your feedback! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

masterlist | series masterlist | series playlist

story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne​, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94, @stepsofthefbi, @chatterbug2-0, @calm-and-doctor, @halseysunset

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @ellesgreenaway

[namariea]

Devil’s Advocate | I

“So for argument’s sake... let’s just say Do Kyungsoo really is the boring square you say he is..” 

“Don’t you want to find out what makes him tick?”

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader

Words: 4.4k

Genre: Romance, Slowburn, Smut

It started with a knock on your door.

“Jongin is coming over tonight, that cool?”

Looking up from your laptop screen, you stared at your roommate who was leaning against your doorway. Blinking slowly, you processed her words.

“Jongin is coming over.”

“Yes, that’s what I just said.”

“And will Mr. Kim be staying over?”

“That would be a correct assumption, yes.”

“Sleeping in your room.”

“Why, did you want him to sleep here with you? Not what I was expecting, but I’m all down for polygamy.”

With a sigh, you saved the document you were working on and began to close your laptop. Collecting the various papers and books scattered around you, you began to tuck them away neatly into your backpack. Sliding off of the bed, you walked the length of the room and began to rifle through your drawers, pulling out some clothes.

Frowning, Jennie walked over to you and looked over your shoulder as you began refolding them and putting them in a gym bag.

“What are you doing?”

“I have a paper I need to finish proofing for tomorrow and I highly doubt I will get any work done with the two of you going at it like animals.”

Jennie didn’t even look fazed at the comment, shrugging non committedly while throwing some pajama shorts your way. Rolling your eyes you passed through the joined bathroom and threw in your toiletries. As you were zipping up your bag a knock came at the door causing you to pause.

Well, that was fast.

Turning around, you looked at the brunette behind you with raised eyebrows, and only then she had the decency to look the slightest bit sheepish.

“Have I told you how much I love you today?”

With your roommate trailing at your heels blabbering about how you are the greatest roommate ever and how she owes you a life debt, you opened the front door and were greeted with Jongin holding what appeared to be a party sized bucket of KFC. Before he could open his mouth you stuck out your hand, waiting.

Blinking down at your outstretched palm, he gave you a confused look.

“Keys. Since you are kicking me out of my bed I’m taking yours”

Jennie snorted behind you as Jongin’s face split into a wide grin.

“You know, I always knew you were a great person.” fishing out his keys from his pocket he handed them to you.

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you gave the couple a wave of your hand and began to make your way down the hall. You were halfway to the elevators when Jongin's loud voice stopped you.

“Oh by the way, Kyungsoo isn’t around tonight, so feel free to raid the fridge before he gets back.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jongin’s presence at your apartment wasn’t a new occurrence.

In the beginning, it was just him coming over during the day to help Jennie with her design assignments. Which was ok, amazing actually, since it helped her out a lot and saved you dealing with her stress meltdowns.

Then it progressed to Jongin appearing at your dinner table every Friday to partake in Chinese takeout nights. Which was fine, again, since he picked it up on his way over and pitched in. He also somehow was able to sweet talk the old woman who owned the store and managed to get extra egg rolls. Can’t go wrong with that.

It wasn’t until Jennie gave you the look while the older boy excused himself to use the bathroom after one said dinner that you took the hint.

Now, Jongin occasionally stays over during the weekends, where you would find him in the living room at ungodly hours watching the Pirates of the Carribean all the while eating a family sized package of oreo’s. Which was mildly perturbing on two counts. First, was the fact that this was probably the 5th time you’ve seen him watch that movie, and second, those were your oreos.

The final straw was not until the weekend that just past where you were woken up a loud banging. It was not until you were  halfway to Jennie’s door in a frantic scramble that your sleep deprived brain caught up with you and realized it was very much not a violent murder taking place in the room over.

Animals.

It was then you all agreed to establish some sort of door-sock system.

Which in essence was - if Jongin was coming over, it was probably best to just find somewhere else to crash.

You didn’t actually mind leaving as much as you thought you would. Jennie was one of your closests friends and it was clear as day that Jongin made her happy. You didn’t even mind hanging out with the guy, he was fun and always brought snacks in return for practically living at your place. Even if his tastes in movies were highly questionable.

It was just sometimes - like right now where you had a Business Ethics paper due at 7AM - where you needed all the quiet you could get.

Reaching the apartment, you slotted the key into the lock, you pushed open the door to Jongin and Kyungsoo’s apartment. Stepping through the threshold you were greeted by darkness.

Flicking on the lights you took in the apartment. You had been in the apartment a handful of times when Chanyeol threw parties, but this was the first time you had been there on your own, literally.

From the neatly organized coffee table to the dust-less surfaces as far as the eye can see, the state of the apartment very much reflected that of the other owner - there was no way anyone would believe the human tornado that was Kim Jongin lived here otherwise.

Speaking of the other owner -

“Kyungsoo?”

Thank goodness for small mercies.

Do Kyungsoo, best friend of Jongin and probably the biggest enigma you've ever met. Not only was he more reserved and mild tempered in comparison to his flatmate, but he was the only one in your mutual friend group that you couldn’t bring yourself to get close to.

It wasn’t for a lack of trying, mind you. And to Kyungsoo’s credit he has never been rude to you, though you wouldn’t necessarily call it friendly either. Cordial at best...maybe. His deposition towards you, and apparently anyone who didn’t know him before the year 2015 was polite but distant. He was so different from the rest of his friends that one day Jennie had asked Jongin how he and Kyungsoo even lived together.

“We met freshman year-”  Jongin said while spooning a mountain of orange chicken onto his plate.

“We were paired up as roommates and we just clicked - Kyungsoo is a great guy, he’s actually pretty hilarious”

“Really?” Jennie leaned in, abandoning her lo mein to gape at the man next to her.

“Its true!” Jongin said defensively at her expression, “how do I explain it-"

"You kind of have to approach him first, and then see how he responds. He just needs time to warm up to you, you'll see."

Now, you weren’t sure if Kyungsoo had ‘warmed up to you’ yet, but you definitely saw the man’s look of disgust as he caught you making kraft dinner in the microwave that one time during finals last semester.

Hot tip - never make microwave kraft dinner in front of a Culinary Arts major.

Checking your watch and noting it was half past ten, you settled down cross-legged at the coffee table in the living room. Pulling out your laptop and notes, you organized it all in front of you before rolling your neck and flexing your fingers.

“Now, where was I-”

After what seems like the hundredth time going over the same words over and over again, desperately making sure you didn’t have any spelling mistakes and that your citations were all correct, you finally hit save for the last time. Tapping the screen of your phone you brought it up to your face as you leant back against the couch, squinting as the time appeared.

2:35 AM

Stretching, you lifted yourself from your sitting position and began packing your laptop and papers away.

Exhausted, you crawled your way up onto the couch, pulled the Captain America themed throw blanket over your tired body, and closed your eyes, waiting for sleep to take you.

Which should have been an easy task.

Except Jongin apparently decided to buy the cheapest couch in Ikea.

No wonder the man lived on your sofa, he has never known true comfort.

Huffing, you sat up begrudgingly, groaning as your body objected to the movement. You glanced down the darkened hallway and pursed your lips.

Taking your bags you began shuffling down the hallway and stopped in front of one of the doors that was ajar. Slowly pushing it open you hesitantly stuck your head in. The sight of the various Mangas scattered on the floor confirmed that you had found the right bedroom.

I mean, there are worse places to sleep.

Making your way further into the room, you kicked the door closed as you made quick work of stripping out of your clothes and changing into your pajamas. You all but dove into the bed, not caring that it was unmade or that you probably should have changed the sheets. A content sigh escaped you as you sank into the mattress, sleep taking over.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Waking with a start, you were momentarily disoriented as you took in your surroundings. Blinking blearily around, it took a few seconds to remember where you were and why your bed smelled like Old Spice.

Ah, right.

Groaning, you glanced at the window and took in the darkness still.

You tried to close your eyes in hopes that you would be able to catch a few more minutes of sleep. However, instead of slipping into blissful sleep you found yourself tossing and turning, body restless in any position you put it in.

Pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes you lay there for a few moments. Blindly reaching towards the side table you fumbled with your phone, squinting as the screen illuminated your vision.

5:50 am

There is no God.

Finally accepting that you were not going to get any more sleep, you begrudgingly slid out of bed. Stretching, you began to make your way to the door, stifling a yawn as you opened it.

And immediately screamed.

“WHAT THE F- Kyungsoo?”

Standing in front of you was a hooded figure, looking just as startled as you were. Hand grasping the handle leading to the room directly across the hall, Kyungsoo had turned at the sound of Jongin’s door opening and his eyes widened almost comically at your presence.

As the fuzziness of sleep was lifted you realized that it must have been the sound Kyungsoo entering the apartment that woke you up. And judging from the incredulous look he was giving you, Jongin must not have told him you were there. Taking in his baseball cap and casual attire, you felt your eyebrows furrow.

Did he just get back?

You watched as his eyes slid down and you were suddenly very much aware of the lopsided bun that had come half undone in your sleep and the thin material of your pajamas. His eyes then darted from your own to the bedroom and back, eyebrows furrowing.

Your eyes widened at the silent question glinting in those dark eyes. Your hands immediately flew up as you began sputtering.

“It's not what it looks like!“ you began frantically and he only lifted a dark brow higher in a silent bid for you to continue. “Jongin was staying over at our place last night and I came here to give them privacy, you know how they are, it’s like National Geographic except nobody asked for it”

He shot you a bemused look.

You felt yourself flush and looked at the space of the wall next to his head “And well, I didn't get kicked out of my own bed to sleep on a couch… So I slept... in here" gesturing to the bedroom behind you awkwardly.

There was another beat of silence.

Great. Fantastic. Realll smooth. It seemed that without fail, every time you are in the immediate presence of the man across from you, you feel yourself suddenly tense up. Which is stupid, considering the fact that you are friends (distant acquaintances), and have been around each other for months now and got along great (cordial at best), surely by now you can have a normal conversation at the very least.

Speaking of conversation, you also become hyperaware of the fact that the other person in the hallway has yet to say a single word to you. Palms beginning to sweat, you began to scramble to think of something - anything - to cut the silence. As if your insane ramblings weren’t bad enough. He probably thinks you’re even more of a raging lunatic, compounded with what happened last semester. Why, why, of all things why did you have to crave Kraft Dinner for fucks sake-

“I see.”

Your inner monologue was cut short by a low reply. it seemed Kyungsoo deemed your answer acceptable, nodding slowly to himself.

You almost felt your body sag in relief, shifting your weight on the balls of your feet.

As another beat of silence passed, you fidgeted again as you were regarded by the dark haired man. Kyungsoo had yet to make any move towards his own room and you suddenly didn’t know what to do with your hands.

Someone kill me.

You cleared your throat, “Umm...so now that that's cleared up… I’m just going to... go over...there” gesturing to the bathroom. You didn’t even wait for him to answer you as you powered your way past him and slipped into the bathroom, pressing your back against the door as it closed behind you.

You waited with baited breath as you heard silence from the hallway. Eventually after what felt like an eternity, there was a shuffling of feet, and the clicking of a door closing from down the hall.

Silently making the motion of bashing your head against the door, you let out a deep breath. Shaking your head you flicked on the light and picked up Jongin’s papaya face wash.

I mean, that could have been worse.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Making your way across campus, you faltered slightly as a yawn made its way through you. After submitting your paper to your professor's dropbox you had spent the day catching up on the never ending tasks you had on your to-do list. You had holed yourself up at the campus library and it wasn’t until your stomach decided to do its best impression of a Harley Davidson that you decided it was probably best to call it a day.

Pulling out your phone you pulled out a delivery app and started browsing the menu for the greek place a block down from your apartment. Flicking through the menu, you contemplated between the Pork Souvlaki or the Chicken gyro...maybe Jennie would be willing to go half and ha-.

You halted on the sidewalk.

Right.

Jennie.

Jennie who is currently still at your apartment.

With Jongin.

Well, shit.

Switching to your messages you sent a text to Jennie.

You: All clear?

You watched with bated breath as the three dots appeared at the bottom.

A sock emoji.

Lovely.

Sitting down at a nearby bench, you began sending out a barrage of texts.

After about 20 minutes of asking around you found out that Jisoo was out of town seeing her parents, Rose’s apartment building was apparently being fumigated for the second time this month and Seulgi was having Irene and Wendy over and you didn’t think you wanted to be part of whatever freaky party those three were going to have.

With every text that came in you felt yourself slowly deflate more and more. Placing your hand in your jacket, you grasped the keys that were in your pocket. They felt heavier than they should be.

There was one other option.

Grimacing, you flushed as you remembered the painfully awkward conversation you exchanged with a particular dark haired man this morning. There was no doubt in your mind that he would be home if you went over now, and you didn’t even want to begin imagining how this interaction will go.

You bit down on your bottom lip in worry as you brain tried playing out the various scenarios in your head. All in all, Kyungsoo didn’t seem to care all that much this morning, but then again when have you ever seen Kyungsoo care about anything.

Come on, think. Well, what do we know...

He is a mutual friend (questionable), for starters. If you both are able to get along with the dumperfire that is your friend group you have to have something in common.. Right?

You stopped fiddling with the keys in your pocket as the realization hit you.

Pulling up your contacts you scanned down the list before pressing ‘call’.

“Oi, Jongin. Does Kyungsoo like Greek?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Turns out no, Kyungsoo does not, in fact, like Greek.

According to Jongin, Kyungsoo is obsessed with this weird hole-in-the-wall Italian place that had handmade pasta. What was supposed to be a 10 minute walk ended up taking 45 minutes as you got lost 3 times, and once you finally found the store the doors were locked. What restaurant shuts down from 3 to 5 on a Friday?

Hipster pasta makers, apparently.

It was lost to you what the appeal was, but if there was anything that you learned in the years as a young adult living on their own, it was that there were two sure-fire ways to bond with someone:

Get drunk

Eat good food while drunk

The latter was not necessarily limited to ‘good’ food - after a few shots to you a McNugget is like a Michelen meal. However you had a gut feeling that Kyungsoo wouldn’t be too welcoming if you showed up with tacos and tequila.

So did you wait around for an hour and a half just to order something you could have bought as Lean Cuisine?

You bet your ass you did.

Because nothing says I’m sorry I know we barely know each other but our friends are banging so were kind of stuck together quite like overpriced spaghetti and meatballs.

Adjusting the paper bag in your arms you walked up to the familiar door. Fumbling with the key you finally managed to wedge it open and stepped through the threshold.

Unlike the last time you entered the apartment, this time you weren’t met with silence. The lights were already on and the sound of the TV filtered throughout the apartment. Toeing off your shoes and arranging them neatly next to the pair by the door.

Arms full of take out you were all of a sudden nervous to turn the corner.

You are once again reminded of the fact that you are very much not close with this man and this will probably be the first time you ever said more than 4 sentences to him in one sitting. And now you are about to have dinner together, alone.

"You kind of have to approach him first, and then see how he responds. He just needs time to warm up to you, you'll see"

Kim Jongin don’t you fail me now.  

Kyungsoo was sitting on the couch looking at his phone when you entered the living room. He immediately looked up and you watched his eyes widen marginally at your presence, clearly not expecting you back.

“I…” The mini speech you had been preparing during the 12 minute walk to the apartment died in your throat as you made eye contact with the dark haired man in front of you. The look he gave you left you momentarily thrown, it was a look that instantly made you think that he was annoyed with you with the way his eyebrows were drawn and the slight frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.

It wasn’t until you saw Kyungsoo’s eyes slide to the bag in your arms briefly, and the slightest flicker of curiosity gave you the courage to push on.

“Jongin is still my place,” you offered, and watched as his eyes flit back to meet your own.

“So,” you continued, shifting the bag in your arms, “I brought some dinner, as a peace offering of sorts, I guess. I hope you’re hungry, because they gave us enough garlic bread to feed a small Italian village.” you let out an awkward laugh.

Kyungsoo looked at you as if you had grown a second head. You didn’t blame him, but you were too far gone to back down now, even if the man was giving you a shoulder so cold it could freeze Sahara.

Making your way into the kitchen you placed the bag on the counter and began taking plates out of the cabinets, trying to keep your trembling hands busy.

Stupid, stupid, this whole idea was stupid.

As you were transferring the food from the containers you heard a slight rustling behind you.

You almost turned around when you didn’t hear anything else, but then a deep voice spoke up, albeit hesitantly.

“Is that from Giulietta’s?”

Stiffening a smile you did not respond to the man immediately when he materialized at your side.

Humming in affirmation you handed him his plate, which he took slowly, eyeing the food suspiciously.

I swear, this guy.

It wasn’t until you had dished out your own plate that you turned to him finally and gave him what you hoped was a friendly smile.

“So, have you watched the new season of Great British Bakeoff?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Have a nice weekend? Actually don’t answer that, I really don’t want to know.” You didn’t even look up from your laptop as Jennie slid into the seat next to you at your morning lecture.

“Jongin has been doing ballet for years, I swear I never knew a body could bend like-”

“Ew. Gross Jennie, it’s 9AM”

“I have no concept of time anymore, the man wouldn’t let me sleep-”

“Jennifer, please, this is a sacred place.”

“This is Introduction to Environmental Science, most of the people here are too worried about cleaning baby ducks with Dawn soap than to eavesdrop”

Groaning you buried your head in your hands and took a deep breath. You really should have stopped by the Cafe next door and got some coffee, you aren’t nearly coherent enough to deal with this.

“Hey,” Jennie started, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Thanks again for stepping out and giving us the apartment for the weekend, I really appreciate it”

“You’re lucky I like you.

“Oh please-”

“-I barely got out of there alive.”

“Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

It wasn’t, actually.

Last night you and Kyungoo had sat in their living room and watched the Great British Bakeoff while you ate your dinner. You thanked whatever higher power there was that Kyungsoo was not a stickler for eating at the dinner table. Or maybe he was, but also thought this situation was incredibly awkward and also wanted some sort of distraction to avoid having to make small talk.

It wasn’t wholly unpleasant, you actually found yourself mildly enjoying yourself. He was a man of a few words but every now and again he would sprinkle in some choice commentary here and there, making noncommittal noises when a contestant added a new ingredient.

Odd fellow, this one.

He was polite enough to stick around for a couple of episodes before standing and offering to take your plate.

“Would you like something else? Jongin keeps ice cream sandwiches in the fridge”

“Oh...no, I’m ok thanks”

You were absolutely going to have one later.

Giving a curt nod, he walked back to the kitchen to wash the dishes. After a few minutes he returned to the living room, shifting uneasily on his feet. He had this thoughtful, intense expression, almost searching. For what, you had no idea but it made you fidget nonetheless, breaking eye contact and pick at imaginary lint on your sweater.

You were about to make some excuse about needing to go back to the library - because you sure as hell weren’t going to stick around here -  when he mumbled something about having papers to grade before disappearing down the hall to his room without another word.

A few more moments passed before you let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

Well, that’s that I guess.

“It went fine. He was...nice”

“Nice.”

“As nice as you can be with a stranger invading your space unnanounced.”

“So dramatic, it’s not like you two are strangers.”

“I don’t even think he knows my name.”  

“We have all hung out loads of times before-”

“I have spoken to him more in the last 12 hours than I have in the last 12 months”

“And who’s fault is that? If anything, that's progress, you should be thanking me. Kyungsoo’s a hoot”

You leveled her with a look.

“...have I told you how much I love you today?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A/N: Had this in my drafts for over 2 years. Hoping by posting I’ll be motivated to actually finish it~

[2-cute-4-school]

NCT Dream reaction : you give them a handmade gift

M.list

Genre : fluff fluff fluff

Word count : 2.5K words

Mark Lee

*sigh* my overworked baby, SM pls let him rest

he probably forgets to eat from time to time or just doesn’t time to

which breaks your poor little heart :<

so when Mark stays in the recording room until late in the night once again, you don’t go to him empty handed

you go to him with a handful of homemade cookies!!! ヽ(^◇^*)/

when you enter the studio, Mark’s slumped figure immediately straightens up, tired eyes lighting up at the sight of you

he turns in his chair and stretched out his arms to you with a puppy face and your heart :((( just :((((( melts :(((((((((( wow mark no need to kill us all with your babie culture

but who are you to say no to this angel with somewhat less appropriate thoughts but you didn’t hear this from me so you don’t hesitate to walk into his open arms

he lays his head on your stomach, nuzzling into you and cuddling up to you like a clingy koala bear as you run your fingers comfortingly through his hair, lightly massaging his head 

with the serene atmosphere you almost forgot why you came so you pulled away from Mark, your heart clenching at his whine and bring the bag with the cookies out of your backpack and thrust it in his hands

he looks from you to the bag and back with eyes so wide and innocent your brain almost short circuited at the utter cuteness

he digs into it once you prompt him to, a soft ‘woah’ coming out from him once he was hit with the sight of freshly baked cookies

“daaamn these are so good, babe” your eyes shine with pride

as he sticks one in his mouth, munching delighted at it (◠‿◠✿) , he grabs you with an arm, sitting you on his lap like a baby that you are and prodding your lips with another cookie he grabbed out of the bag

“oh no, I made these for you, I don’t-”

he doesn’t let you finish your sentence as he pushes the cookie in your mouth, watching you fondly as you start munching on it and patting your head with a gentle hand

“you’re so much cuter when you’re not nagging”

*GASP*

the Disrespect

Huang Renjun

this baby probably also showers you in his own gifts such as paintings or drawing of you sooo

it’s only proper that you also gist him something made by you (°∀°)

you work your cute ass off to perfect the most adorable Moomin key-chain you can come up with *huff* 

the day you finally deem it good enough to be shown to the top artist Huang Renjun you sweat buckets as you approach him

Renjun is busy on his iPad as you paddle over to him and stick the key-chain in his face with a dumb but proud smile “here”

Renjun turns to you with a blank face “what is this?”

●‿●

when I tell you the blood drained from your face and you died 50 times internally, your soul just left your body and you saw your life flash before your eyes ‘well life was good, time to say goodbye eyy’

you manage a loud and definitely not artificial laugh

“HAHAHA JUST AN UGLY THING I made I MEAN FOUND HAha ʰᵃ!!! Hey doesn’t it look like you in the morning?!” 

that’s when you knew you gotta bolt the scene

but Renjun of course couldn’t let your embarrassment end there the grumpy little gremlin

he snatched the keychain from you and curled his other hand around you, gluing you to his side and you froze as you looked into his sparkly wide eyes ( Renjun’s eyes are galaxies fite me )

“you made this for me?”

“uh yeah” 

warning : you were strangled to death by Renjun who deemed that a simple ‘thank you’ just couldn’t suffice, you had to die asphyxiated by his bear hug

“thank u thank u thank it’s so cute, I love it so much! I love you so much!!!”

“do you love me more than Moomin?”

warning 2 : he threw you away faster than he captured you in his deathly cute hug

“know your place, no. 2″

(¤﹏¤)

Lee Jeno

so Jeno is just a biiiiit upset at you maybe

okay maybe a bit more than just a bit

because you might or might have not broken his favorite cup which, mind you, was also a gift from you, when you were at the dorms

so now this overgrown baby gives you THE stinky eye and makes sarcastic and grumpy remarks with any chance he gets

and honesty as much as you love him, you’re ABSOLUTELY DONE with his pettiness :’)

that’s how you find yourself seated at your desk with a blank cup, acrylic watercolors and brushes spread everywhere as you squeeze every ounce of willpower to finish what you started

so after 2 mental breakdown, painted fingers and a veryyy dirty desk, you finished painting a cute design on Jeno’s new cup

you let it dry and didn’t waste another second to bring it to Jeno who still sulked at the dorms

once you were let inside, you trudged over to Jeno who was sat at the couch, refusing to get up and greet you with kisses as he usually did and slammed the cup on the coffee table in front of him

his frown turned into a confused puppy face so fast his duality amazed you once again, he lifted the cup gently, running the tips of his fingers gently over the paintings you worked so hard to complete for him

“are you still mad, nono?”

his silence was quite unnerving as you started to tire yourself out, your voice weakened by worry, but he lifted his head, looking at you with eyes so soft your heart fluttered wildly in your chest

“mad? you-you did this for me and you think I’m mad?”

he put the cup down much gentler than you and stood up from his seat, engulfing you in his arms, one of his hands squeezing you impossibly close to him and the other one cradling your head to his chest

“I think I just fell in love with you once again”

“if you fall in love just from a painted cup I should be more careful when I leave you alone”

he chuckled at your witty remark, kissing the side of his neck

once you broke apart, he placed his new favorite cup on the highest shelf and turned to you with a shit-eating grin

“i’ll put this here so maybe you won’t break this one too”

“sleep with an eye open tonight, lee” (☉‿☉✿)

Lee Donghyuck

so another overworked baby of mine bless his soul

his schedule is so packed so even though he’d cuddle with you until the end of times you actually didn’t get to do that as often as you’d like

and we all know how whiny lil cutie baby Haechanie can get when he doesn’t get what he wants :’))))

and since unfortunately you can’t be beside him all of the time like he wants you to, you decide the next best thing : you knit him a scarf !! you even stuck a tag made out of a soft material with a drawing of a smiley sun to one end of the scarf

he looks so shocked when you skip into his room and lovingly strangle him with the scarf

and you swear you could see his eyes glisten when you tell him you made it yourself and he remembers the bandaids that seemed to grow in number every day which you always shrugged of when he asked

although the tears may be from the lack of air  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

n e way, he looks so thankful as he wordlessly cradles your hands in his, bringing them up to his lips and taking the time to litter kisses over every single one of your small injuries, whispering a soft ‘i love you’ at the end

you swear your heart runs leaps through your rib cage

he just loves you so so much and would appreciate anything you give him 

you bring his face back up and press a huge *smooch* on his lips and you both giggle in between your kisses

why so cute you lovebirds?!?

he brings the scarf everywhere he goes, to the dorms, to every show, concert, whenever he travels somewhere, no matter the season

it becomes his lucky charm

once, Renjun sends you a picture of your Hyuckie sleeping cuddled up to the scarf, his nose nuzzled into it

“you know I won’t let him forget about this. EVER” you smirk at Renjun’s text, typing back a reply

“pls do” ( ಠ◡ಠ )

Na Jaemin

this sweet boi hold close to his heart anything you give him

so there’s literally no reason to stress over the bracelet you decided to craft for him

but you being you of course you want to rip your hair out every time something doesn’t go your way ah the levels of patience are definitely soaring through the roof

you even swallowed your pride and asked Jeno for help (read as used him as a puppet) so you were sure you’d get the right size

so after doubting the colors, patterns, material, your entire life choices, you asked Jaemin to close his eyes the next time you met up

with extra shaky fingers, you wrapped the bracelet around his wrist and fumbled to tie it properly

“I’m not getting any younger over here, y/n”

“shut up, mommy jaemie”

he managed to slap the back of your head even with his eyes closed (>‘o’)>

so when you finally tied a sturdy knot with your chicken fingers, you let him open his eyes and beach let me tell you the way his entire face broke into a smile at the sight of the pretty bracelet around your wrist

the sun seemed to pale in comparison with his precious smile, jaemin lights up the world no question, there’s no way you can convince me otherwise

“oh my God, my baby spent time making me such a pretty gift, I must have saved a country in my previous life, come here, let me smooch you into next week (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ “

so that’s how you ended up trapped in Jaemin’s embrace FOREVER

he kept on complimenting you the entire day and made it his mission to boast to every member he could get is hands on about his pretty gift made by his even prettier baby, he’s such a sucker for you no joke whipped culture right here m’am

“Jaemin, the the threads are getting dirty, don’t you think it’s time to take it off-?”

“I’ll die wearing this ʘ‿ʘ“

Zhong Chenle

among all of his ultra expensive things he has, he is dead sure that you’re the most precious in his life

he often told you he’d give up every penny in his bank and all his fame as long as he got to keep you by his side

he regarded you as a ray of warm light when the world left him cold and he swore he’d fight off anything and anyone who dared to hurt you

so this is how he found himself a bit confused and extremely guilty over how he is supposed to fight himself, watch and learn baby

he never meant to upset you, especially over something you poured your blood, sweat and tears into perfecting it just for him

sure, you were aware the Chinese patters you sewed carefully into a pristine white material weren’t perfect, but the way he laughed in you face once you offered it to him toppled your negative emotions over

he wasn’t aware that you sewed it yourself when he made fun of it

“jeez, where did you get this from, Y/N, the clownery fair? even though you should report them for to costumer protection for its ugliness”

“maybe I should report you for being a bitchy prick” ʕ ಡ ﹏ ಡ ʔ

you glare at him and storm away, slamming the door

chenle, the most oblivious and babiest boyfriend : (Θ︹Θ)ს well shit

but of course you couldn’t stay mad at him for long when he sweet talked his way back into your good side basically every minute of the day after finding out from Renjun (this angry angel helped you bless his soul) how hard you worked to sew that

so even though you’re still sulking a lil bit

you accept to come over at his house and as soon as you enter his room you’re shook

where one of his posters once hung above his bed now stood your sewing project proudly

you stared in awe like （’◎’）

“but I though you said it’s ugly”

“that’s before I knew it’s made by you. Anything you did is directly promoted to gorgeous, admirable, incomparable-”

ヾ(＠⌒▽⌒＠)ﾉ

3 weeks later while cuddling 

you : *GASP* “I’m so sorry for calling you a bitchy prick, baby”

Park Jisung

he is a giant as much as he is a baby and you agree with me even if you don’t 

babies are fascinated by almost anything, especially colorful things

which means Jisung is also fascinated by colorful things ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

so when you met and you pulled out a few origami figures of different, lively colors, Jisung : (✪㉨✪)

“woah, how did you do these?”

“they’re like basic origami figurines”

if he wasn’t amazed enough already

when you picked up a purple frog and pressed on its bottom and it jumped, Jisung jumped up with it

“WOAH, how did you do THAT?”

you didn’t have the heart to break his innocent awe and tell him it didn’t take longer than 5 minutes to make that frog

so you just settled for a shrug and a simple

“magic, Jisung, magic”

at that, he straightens up in his seat, his awestruck expression fading into a serious one as he grips your shoulders tightly （´＿｀）

“you’ve been lying to me, haven’t you?” ~(｡☉︵ ಠ@)>

“what do you mean, sungie?”

“you’re a wizard!!!!!!!!!”

*facepalm* *internal sigh* *whale noises because cuteness levels are just too high* 

“uh, yeah sure, baby, whatever floats your boat”

you try to turn away to hide your growing smile, but jisung isn’t having it

“no, you can’t leave me like this!! teach me!!!1!”

he grips your sleeve and looks at you with such wide innocent eyes as if you’re another wonder of the world and you swear you melt on the spot

“well, you know, my services aren’t free” (¬‿¬)

“what do you want?”

“kisses?” ( jisung shutting down )

“k-kisses? kisses??!? i mean *clears throat and buffs up* yeah sure, that’s all? i can do kisses” ( this baby blushed after only mentioning it but okay boss baby go off I guess ) (*~▽~)

he could’t even be disappointed when he found out origami was nowhere near to magic when you spoiled him with kithes all evening *cue a red Jisungie*

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “A bucket.”

I wrote this little fluff piece this morning because I didn’t have the energy to write anything else. Still fighting with my motivation right now, but I hope you all like it :)

The air smelled like fall, wet dirt, a chill, and the unmistakable tang of mouldering leaves raked into large yellowing piles. The sky overhead was blue, and it was just beginning to warm as the sun peaked higher into the sky.  Standing on the sidewalk, he stared down the street of his childhood watching orange and yellow leaves fall to the pavement. In the distance he could hear the shouting of children, and watched decorative skeletons clatter and blow in a light wind.

A soft crunching noise jogged him from his musings, and he turned to see Sunny contemplatively staring at a yellowed leaf, only to watch her pop it into her mouth and crunch on it like it was a potato chip.

He frowned at her and she turned to look at him, “What?”

“Seriously?”

“What do you mean, Seriously?”

“Gonna go ahead and eat the fall ambiance?”

She frowned at him,” The trees aren’t using them anymore, and I don’t see you eating them.” He just shook his head at her, and turned to walk up the front steps and onto the porch. She paused to stare at the cluster of pumpkins on the front steps, and the grizzly faces that were carved into them. His father was a master at pumpkin carving, evidenced by the fact that Sunny made, “What the hell.” she turned to look at Adam and he shrugged.

“What are those?”

“Pumpkins/”

“That does not answer my question.”

“THey are a type of squash or gourd or…. Or something. People grow and eat them most of the time, but it is traditional, in october to carve scary faces on them for fun. Maybe mom has another one lying around and will let you try it out.”

“But why?”

“Back in the day people thought that doing this would help to fend off evil spirits, but now it is more of a contest to flex who is the most artistic. Dad wins every year.”

They stepped onto the porch where fallen leaves were still clinging wetly to the front steps and knocked.

“It’s open!” Came the voice from inside 

The two of them slipped in, Adam taking off his shoes and Sunny wiping her damp feet on the entrance rug.

They walked into the living room to find his mother, Martha sitting on the floor at the center of an explosion of pictures, and a couple of open binders.

Adam and Sunny walked in very carefully stepping over the pictures.

“Sorting the photo album again?” “Again, the last time I did this was almost ten years ago.” 

Adam wantered closer to his mother and Sunny curiously examined some of the photos, until one caught her eye.

A very tiny, chubby human barely able to stand on his own, and with bright green eyes.

She picked up the picture gingerly in one hand, “Awww is this you? You and your fat little cheeks.”

Adam turned, and Sunny held up the picture. Adam blushed and Martha laughed, Sunny looked at the next picture in the line, which seemed to be paired to the first, but now the small boy had a large bucket on his head, his feet sticking out from underneath. The bucket had holes in the side.

“What are you doing.”

Martha laughed again, “We were playing hide and seek.” Adam was still blushing madly as she continued, “He grew into his intelligence late in life.”

***

Martha walked slowly from the back room into the living room, “Ready or not here I come.”

The house was mostly quiet. The rest of her brood was out with their father on a hike for the day, but their littlest had woken up with a slight cough so she had decided to keep him home. He had spent the first half of the day lethargic, but around lunch time after some strawberries he had perked up and become  his usual exhausting self.

“Come out come out. I’m gonna get you.”

It was the giggling that gave him away, but when she turned to look she paused, sagged a bit and rolled her eyes covering her smile and laugh with a hand. The living room was completely clean, aside from a round laundry basket sitting dead in the middle, and two chubby little legs sticking out from under it. Not to mention that since it was a laundry basket it had holes in the side, and she could see him looking at her from inside.

She discreetly took a picture and quietly to herself Lord child i hope you grow into your brains soon

But instead of calling him out on his hiding spot she wandered around the room hands on hips, “Now where could he have gone…. Could he be under here?”

Giggling 

She kept up the pretence for the longest time until he seemed to have gotten tired of her charade. She heard the bucket tip over and he ran over on his stubby little legs grabbing her by the leg.

She acted surprised, “OH there you are!. I have been looking ALL over.”

He grinned and hugged her leg again.

She reached down and picked him up and he rested his head against her shoulder.

That was another thing about her youngest. He was VERY VERY cuddly, and she idly wondered what that would translate to when he got older. She patted his back and tried to fix his unruly blond hair which stuck up from all sides of his head, but it was no use, she sighed and gave up.

Oh well, she tried her best.

***

“You know honestly sometimes he is STILL as dumb as a pile of bricks.” Sunny mused setting the picture back down.

Adam rubbed the back of his neck, “I got my masters in aviation and orbital physics.””

“And yet who is the one who insists on putting strange alien plants in his mouth without knowing i they are safe or not.”

Martha frowned at her youngest.

He frowned back, “That is hardly fair, you eat them.”

“I also eat leaves, doesn’t mean you can too.”

She sifted through the pictures and barked a laugh at one that caught her eye, she picked it up, what are you doing. She turned the picture around, and Adam blushed madly. Martha laughed, “Oh yeah, we had to call the fire department for that one.”

“No, no no we are not going to be telling that story.”

A firefighter and a cop framed either side of the picture both giving exaggerated thumbs up with a young boy\ mabe seven or eight in the background stuck, backside first in a bucket of some sort, looking very embarrassed.

Martha grinned, “I think you were seven or eight maybe.”

“IT was Jeromy’s fault.”

****

“I dare you.”

The four boys and one girl stood  at the top of the hill staring down.

Maya, who was fifteen years old, older by five years than Jeremy who was eleven, frowned down the hill, “What if he runs into one of those trees.”

“He's got a thick skull, he’ll be ok.” Thomas said ruffling Adam’s hair viciously so the younger boy squirmed protested and ducked away. Adam was a very small boy, shorter than average and very thin. His clothes always seemed too big, his shirts baggy, and the shorts he was wearing were forced to stay on only by the belt his father had had to poke three more holes into to make it fit.

Even his sneakers seemed too big flopping around on his feet with floppy untied laces. 

“Who is even going to fit in that?” David asked.

Arguably the smartest of the three brothers, it hadn’t occurred to the others that none of them would fit.

That’s when all their heads turned to look at Adam.

Adam frowned, “But I don’t want to.”

“Chiken.” Thomas said 

“Come on your the only one small enough.” Jeremy urged.

“I see your chances of dying as very low, “ David interjected helpfully.

Maya tossed her braid back over one shoulder, “We should at least put some padding down at the bottom. Because if he gets hurt mom will kill me.”

Maya was technically supposed to be babysitting them, and keeping them out of trouble. But as was common with their family, she was not immune to the pull of a hair brained idea especially not when she was just to curious to see how it turned out.

Adam stomped his foot, “But you guys ALWAYS make me do it.”

“Because the buckets are ALWAYS too small for us, “Come on don’t be a chicken.”

Adam sighed and walked over to the barrel. He tired crawling inside it backwards, and when that didn’t work he attempted to go in face first, but every time he was just to tall.

He shook his head, “Too small.”

David looked at him very thoughtfully, and then an idea seemed to jump into his head.

“Not if we fold you in half.”

Adam frowned at him.

“Come on, hold the barrel upright.” The other boys did as told, while David instructed Adam to sit inside butt first.

Adam frowned, “But that doesn’t sound very comfortable, and how am I going to get out.”

“We will tip you out, don’t worry.”

Adam frowned but then allowed himself to slide down into the barrel. It was immediately very uncomfortable.

He wanted to tell them to pull him out but by that time he had been tipped over onto his side, “Ready?”

“No.”

They ignored him.

Adam was near panicking now, it wasn’t exactly easy to breathe.

“Three, two, one.”

And then the world was spinning around him. He rocked and bounced and spun so fast his eyes rolled inside his head. He screamed but the scream was cut off as he slammed painfully into something.

Dazed and sure he was going to vomit, he heard voices.

“Oh no, Adam!”

“Adam are you ok!”

Footsteps raced down the hill.

“Oh no we killed him!”

“Shut up He’s still alive, look.” Something kicked his foot, and he groaned.

He’s still breathing.

“Let him out.”

Something tugged on his feet. But it only managed to pull him and the barrel with it.

“Here you guys hold the bucket and we will pull him out.

Wat ensued was a horrible tug of war on his legs and on the bucket neither of which seemed to want to let go.

“STOP!”

They dropped his legs.

“Um, what if we tipped the bucket upside down?”

“Ok.”

The four of them tried really hard, and at one point almost succeeded until someone’s hand slipped and Adam crashed into the ground very painfully. He was near panic now, “Guys! Get me out of here.”

David patted his foot, “Its ok, ill get you out, ‘we just need science.”

Science turned out to be a  shoddy pulley system that went over the swing set and was designed to let them lift the bucket by way of rope and shake Adam out onto the ground.

The problem was the rope kept slipping off the bucket.

“Oh… no.”

A car rolled over gravel.

“Oh no, dad’s home.”

They heard a car door slammed shut, and Adam felt as the others hurriedly rolled him behind the swingset.

A door opened and the jangle of keys followed their father around the side of the house.

“There you all are, glad to see everyone is still in one piece, you didn’t burn the house down.”

“Nope.”

“Nope.”

There was sudden silence, “Where is Adam.”

“Uh, he…. He is us, around here somewhere.” Jeremy had always been bad at lying 

Their father turned his gaze on Maya, “Maya what is going on.”

“Uh…. nothing dad, we….”

“Don’t even try it….”

She sagged a bit, “We got Adam stuck in a barrel.”

There was a moment of silence, he heard the shifting of footsteps, “You got Adam stuck in a-” The light filtering into the barrel was cut off and he saw the silhouette of his father’s head, “Huh, you weren’t kidding. You are okay in their kiddo.”

His muffled reply came.

“Yeah��. I guess.”

Their dad grabbed the barrel by one end, tipped it over and shook Adam a few times. WHen nothing happened he gently set him back down, “Huh.”

“I hold and you pull his feet, “” They tried again but it didn’t work the second time either.

“Well, I have some tools in the garage.”

Adam began to panic as he thought of his dad's circular table saw.

“NO!”

“Ok ok.”

He heard his dad quiet for a minute and then, “Hey Joe, yeah this is Jim Vir….. doing good, and you, how about the family….. Glad to hear it….. Yeah anyway, my kids got my youngest boy stuck in a barrel like the geniuses they are, and I can’t seem to get him out. You want to send me a firefighter or two with something that can help….. Yeah thanks joe.”

Adam was relieved.

Of course as it turned out it was a slow day at both the police department AND the fire station, so what came rolling up was a motorcade of emergency vehicles. Adam was so embarrassed he wished he could melt through the barrel and into the ground as a group of cops and firefighters walked over to peer down at him from above.

“That looks comfortable.”

“How are you doing there son?”

There barrel was tipped back over, and he even saw his father sna a few pictures as the firefighters and police went to work surrounding the barrel. Of course since the entire towns emergency crew were here that drew curious neighbors who couldn’t help but laugh along with Jim at the antics of his children.

The wors part is when Martha showed up, and ran from the car scared out of her mind assuming something horrible had happened, only to find her husband laughing and taking pictures with the local emergency response team, and her youngest stuck in an oversized bucket.

At the end of the day they were forced to cut him out, but the sweet relief when he tipped onto the ground free at least was almost worth the embarrassment. He might not have thought that if he had known there was still a picture in both the police department and the fire station of him as a kid stuck in a barrel.

***

Sunny was laughing at him by the time Martha was done with her story.

He grimaced, “Why do you only keep finding the embarrassing pictures.

“Oh what is this,”

“What are you wearing?”

Adam covered his eyes.

“Oh yeah, I couldn’t get my other boys to wear it, but he would model anything for me when I needed it. This was when I was doing a commission for a Seventies themed party. Isn’t he adorable.”

“Is that a jumpsuit, and what is with those glasses.”

Adam looked up at the sky.

“And of course when Maya moved out, and I didn’t have the money for a mannequin….”

Sunny picked up another picture, “That is one big ass dress.”

“Ah yes the bell skirts, doesn’t he look nice.”

Adam grunted and cleared his throat, “I think you'll find corsets are surprisingly comfortable. Second of all, I rock the regency and victorian periods, and no one can tell me otherwise.”

He might as well own it.

This was the 41st century, dresses weren’t just for women anymore, and some of them had been quite comfortable.

They would never really be his style, but he could see  why someone else would find them appealing.

By this point both Sunny and martha had migrated to the couch where they looked through embarrassing pictures of him as a baby and shared embarrassing stories. Sometimes gross stories as he sat on the other side of the room and suffered silently. Sunny seemed to be enjoying herself though, so he let it slide.

Seeing her happy was nice, since it hadn’t been very common over the past few months.

He blamed himself for that, and wondered idly how long it would take for her to fully forgive him.

He hoped not long.

[creative-robot]

A couple of semi-connected mini scenarios for the Hybrid SMP Body Scramble AU that my brain has summoned

Avian!Niki and Merling!Tommy both just staring at a piece of Cooked Chicken having VERY different mental breakdowns over the concept of eating it

Phantom!Jack Manifold forgetting that he’s not only not fireproof anymore as Wilbur but fiery allergic to the sun and nearly burning Wil’s hair off much to Slime!Wilburs chagrin and terror

FM!Ranboo gets stuck on the mining post bc he was trying out Schlatts arachnid abilities and forgot he couldn’t just safely teleport down afterwards, he also manages to get his new horns stuck in the wood somehow and Elytrian!Tubbo and Ender!Phil have to come help him down

FM!Ranboo and Phantom!Jack Manifold getting to experience rain properly for the first time ever while Ender!Phil and Blaze!Charlie take cover and Mer!Tommy tries out running around on land in Nikki’s body

Blaze!Charlie, Avian!Niki, and Slime!Wilbur just having a whole Nether hangout day so Niki can finally explore the Nether, Shulk!Schlatt joins them at one point to find out the real smell of different Nether blocks and also to fill Tubbos Shulk with Lava Buckets. Slime!Wilbur takes the opportunity to see what’s stronger: Charlie’s slime bounce or Tubbos shulker skin. Blaze!Charlie gets to watch Himself go flying into a wall due to the answer ultimately being Tubbo

Mer!Tommy get haggled into letting Avian!Niki do up her body’s much longer hair after Tommy attempts to tie it up himself and nearly haphazardly knots it up, Phantom!Jack Manifold gets SEVERAL pictures for blackmail and Mer!Tommy learns that maybe having your hair played with isn’t that bad (not that he’ll admit that to anyone besides Niki)

Phantom!Jack Manifold has to pin back Wil’s hair for his own sanity cause he isn’t used to having bangs

FM!Ranboo finally gets Revenge by Pumpkin, aka him and Phantom!Jack team up to annoy Ender!Phil and Mer!Tommy with invisibility shenanigans as payback

FM!Ranboo gets the first pumpkin stuck to his head thanks to Schlatts horns though, he just can’t get used to them

It’s takes literally everyone to make sure Elytrian!Tubbo doesn’t just full-out launch himself off a cliff before actually figuring out how to fly with Phil’s wings, Phil can just SEE Tubbo debating jumping off every high area he can see and can TELL cause that’s HIS face

It is wildly disconcerting to see Tommy and Tubbos expressions on Niki and Phil’s faces, it’s even weirder to see Schlatt and Ranboos expressions on Tubbo and FM respectively

Slime!Wilbur gets play-hit and proceeds to lose his fucking mind over suddenly becoming like a foot tall, he kinda forgot that was something Charlie DID and now he understands why Charlie always calls for help with mobs it’s actually SCARY, he makes a mental note to open a small enough area in his haunted houses basement for Charlie to hide in (and maybe make a few other safe hidey holes) after they all swap back

Mer!Tommy finds a chest Niki’s made of everything everyones ever absentmindedly thrown in the lagoon and proceeds to use everything in it to both become a nuisance and dig several tunnels super close to everyone else’s houses, Niki finds them after they swap back later on and actually thanks Tommy for making them